Monday, April 29, 2019

Walk me home, wouldn't you?

Mai : "Sedih kan, Glad?"
Me  : "Huh?"
Mai :" Iya..sedih kan Oli mau pindah ni?"
Me  : "Ouh...iya, tapi lebih sedih lagi waktu kam pindah tiba-tiba kemarin. Dan Oli juga udah ada ngasih tau kan ini...jadi udah persiapan. Dan udah ada juga perpisahan yang lebih menyakitkan.."


                                                                                ***

Hello everyone.
I can not believe this is already week 8 of Surgery Department, when at first I just really couldn't get through each day without wanting to come straight home right away, and just ditch everything.

So many things happended.
Tapi kayak I've said that too f-ing many times.
But no jokes this time, bener-bener banyak dan ga terduga.
Like a whole plot-twist in just one episode that you missed..ahahahhah

Any way,
aku tahu banget aku orang yang sangat sulit menerima saat sahabat (atau setidaknya, aku yang menganggap dia dan memperlakukan dia sebagai sahabat) tapi ternyata mengecewakan.
Like I used to hold that dissapointment and bitterness for too long..
I used to ask like
"why she just don't appreciate me the way I appreciate her?"
"how could she say something like that about me?'


Gitu juga waktu dulu (like 2 tahun lalu) Mai tiba-tiba pindah kosan, tanpa ada ngasih tau aku sama sekali.
Tiba-tiba, aku pulang dari kampus, her room was already empty.


Kalau sekarang aku ngingat kejadian itu, aku ngerti kenapa I was so hurt...because Mai was such a 'bigger' sister figure I always hold and trust and love...and at that time she just moved out without any preamble or what so ever.

Tapi, sekarang setelah aku Koass, dan aku ngerti situasi yang anak koass hadapi, stress mental, batin, fisik yang kita dapat di koass, aku paham kenapa Mai bisa ngelakuin itu.
Aku paham kenapa Mai bisa ngambil keputusan itu dengan segala situasi di siklusnya kemarin dan di kosan saat itu.

I mean, aku juga udah ngelewatin masa di mana I wasn't even myself.
Like going to the hospital was such a horrifying thing that I had migraine just by getting ready for it.

But, you know what, I see now that masa-masa di mana rasanya things were really painful and uncomfortable, that's when changes take place, when you grow, when you are being shifted.

So now...saat di mana perpisahan seems to be just around every corner, Mai yang udah mau wisuda dokter aja, Oli yang pindah kosan, persahabatan yang udah ga kayak dulu lagi....I can finally say


"It's okay.
I accept it the way it is.
Because if our souls are really best-friends for each other, no distance, nor time will set us apart. 
The universe always has a way to bring same vibration and frequency together. "





















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