C L O S U R E [Part II : Holler At Ya Girl]

Hei all.

Can we take a moment of gratitude karna Anak udah berlalu? ;)

and a moment of pure joy ehehhehe  😎💃

***

So we're in part two of Holler at Ya Girl.

And honestly, I took time contemplating on how to write this the right way, that it can help you understand the importance of closure and hopefully not offend anyone. 

So here we go...

It took me some months untuk menyadari kalau some stuff keep showing up in my life, in this year.

I used to pray like "Why God?! Like seriously, why?"

Then Mom said, "Have closure, Nang."

(read : Nang : panggilan orang tua Batak Toba ke anak perempuannya)

I didn't understand why Mom said that.

Cuz' like why would I be the one asking for closure, when I'm the one adversely affected by other people's doings.

So it was a real battle between my ego and logic.

I didn't know what to choose, so I prayed.

Asking if it was the right thing to do, how was I supposed to do it?

And I see now, that some things will not be answered by thinking about it, consulting to friends about it, believing in your logic and feeling about it.

All things are The Almighty's matters, even your indecisiveness.

And I swear...it was the bravest right thing to do.

Being able to come up and say I wanted closure.

Like..
I've been telling this a million times now,
kalau Alam Semesta akan mempertemukan hal-hal dengan frekuensi yang sama,  dan kalau sesuatu belum beres, it will keep showing up in your life.
Be it orang yang kamu hindari, atau permasalahan keuangan, bahkan kebiasaan moody kamu.
It will keep showing up, until you take care of it.


So yeah...
Aku yakin bukan hanya aku yang mengalami permasalahan yang bulak-balik muncul.
Kayak kita bisa aja pindah tempat, atau ada di lingkungan baru, tapi masalah yang muncul itu-itu aja.
Karna permasalahan itu adalah sebuah test.

And in any test that you take, 

only until you pass it, will you be let go of the 'obligation to take it'.

And until that, 'a remedial' is all you have, wherever you go. 

xoxo,

Edys

HOLLER at YA GIRL [The Series]

hi y'all.
I hope you're doing amazing...in whatever your situation right now.


These past two weeks, I've been having the urge to write this post.
It's just I was busy finishing my case presentation and all my exam preparation.
Now that tomorrow is the last day of Pediatric Department, I get to write my thoughts.

***

So...
It's almost one year of me being single.
And there's just these things I get to learn along the way.

> TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF <

Nadrah : "Lu ga pernah enjoy pergi sendirian?!!"
Me : " No...."
Nadrah : "Sebelum lu pacaran juga?"
Me : " Yeah....bahkan sebelum w pacaran pertama kali.."

This is literally Nadrah's shocked reaction when I told her that it surprised me that I enjoyed my time going to the mall alone, like not rushing anything, just wear my comfy outfits, walk around the mall, see cute things, buy my 'girly' needs wants, sit down at a cafe alone, and enjoy my avocado chocolate drink and donuts.

I used to be so 'anxious' about going out...that even when I went with my partner,
I didn't enjoy the surroundings, I was just there...like not enjoying...just there...
I was anxious in a way that I didn't pay attention...like I did't see nor feel my surrounding....
It was just me going out with my partner...and talk...about a lof of stuff...but I just didn't 'connect' with my environment. 
(I hope you get what I mean..soalnya ini perasaan yang agak sulit untuk diterangin)


Looking back at it now, I think that's why I was so bored and stressed eventhough I went out with my partner a lot.

And it wasn't any of their problems.
They were good partners (at that time for me) (although gua cuman pernah pacaran 2 kali...✌  #peace)

It was me, haven't figured out things with myself.
It was me putting a lot of trust which next leads to unrealistic hopes towards my partner, hoping that 'the one' will make me enjoy me...like accept me...which will never happen, boo! 

Because, as much, and as deep, and as pure as someone can love you,
you gotta go deep inside yourself, be honest to yourself,
confront your own traumas, your own hurt, your own pain,
and fix them.. so you can start living and loving youself and other people the right way.

And this process ga akan pernah bisa cuman take some days, atau minggu...karna segala emotional baggage yang kamu simpan betahun-tahun ga akan resolve dalam seminggu kamu start reading self-development books...or denger lagu rohani atau kotbah dari siapa pun.  

                                                    It    will     take     time.  

And sebenernya, setiap orang punya emotional baggage yang perlu dia confront sendiri. Mungkin punya kamu ga sama kayak aku. In your case it might be kekecewaan sama orang tua kamu, rasa cemburu sama saudara kamu sendiri, atau rasa ingin selalu jadi nomor #1 kalau enggak kamu ngerasa gagal (case anak FK banget #SomethingJustGotBurnt 😄) , your sexuality, atau apa pun, karna banyak banget case-nya.  (and don't you start lying about this  ✌) 

EVERYONE IS JUST AS CRAZY AS YOU ARE, JUST IN DIFFERENT MATTER 

#wink 😉😜

by saying 'time' I mean 'all the time' yourself need to heal.
ga ada takarannya berapa lama...but if you're so committed in understanding you, you will get the most priceless gift anyone can give themselves. 
And emang...such things, kayak emotional or childhood traumas, ga akan pernah bisa beres cuman dengan usaha kita sendiri..
Harus ada pembaharuan hubungan dengan orang yang memang benar-benar mengerti kamu, 

Pencipta kamu.

Relationship with Your Creator like never before.

Apa pun agama kamu...atau kepercayaan kamu.
I've seen kalau orang yang truely have good connection with The Almighty, you simply see them shine... like penuh berkah 'aja' hidupnya...bukan cuman ke dia...tapi orang-orang sekitar dia.

Karna apa pun yang kamu pour ke sekitar kamu (in your work, friendship, hidup kamu sehari-hari), it's just reflection of what you're pouring yourself with.

Jadi kalau kamu seringan see and talk about 'the bad' of other people,
honey, do yourself a favor, fix it, fix you.

P.S.
Ini dulu buat sekarang...
Imma make "Holler at Ya Girl"  as my blog series,
where I talk about stuff yang menurut aku bakal bisa ngebantu banyak orang banget.
Karna sebenernya poinnya ada beberapa...cuman untuk sekarang ini aja dulu.

***

To holler at someone means to see each other, to talk over.

(https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=holler%20at)
#EBM #ExperienceBasedMethod


So yeah... holler at ya girl....holler at me.

xoxo

Edys

write it with ice cream

sometimes, things are better left alone for a few moment.

it's not so they get resolved by themselves, 

but it is for us to have better understanding about ourselves, our parts on the matter, and be reasonable.

and sometimes, while giving things time, having ice-cream as a company will soothe the process.

'if only I knew', she said.

it's such a funny feeling to see my beloved bestfriend in her own 'kasmaran' session.
that she 'unconsciously' plays with my hair before taking her 'phone-call session' 👯💕💋

her :

"Glad, kalau aku tahu di umur 24 tahun 6 bulan aku bakal dapat Rio,

ga akan aku galau-galau waktu dulu."

and if it's the right one,

it will be as easy as breathing.

man...how prophetic words can be...

yet how little attention I paid ..

so gonna sing this one with Mai...after all my CRS 💕💓

BAEWATCH

when soulmates connect, 

more than the people in the relationship get blessed.

Soulmate : someone who is suitable for my soul and neccessary for my assignment.

1. They come by revelation not by manipulation

"If she's mine, I don't have to manipulate for her."


2. Their values allign with your needs.

What if you tell someone you're hungry, and they say "Stop being so physical."

Compatibily doesn't mean 'they need from you what you need from them.'
But it means, they personally value themselves as something that you need.

Ex. If you have a need for honesty, they have to be a person that value intigrity outside your relationship. So they don't have to try to be honest, to meet your needs. Cause their value allign with your need.

Some things are just things people don't value.

Sometimes, people don't know what they value, until they get into relationship, and not getting what they value.

If you don't know you, you don't know what you need.
And if you don't know what you need, you don't know if they can meet it.

3. They compliment you, they don't complete you,

It's dangerous to be in a relationship with anybody, who think they're doing you a favor by being in a relationship with you.

You don't want someone who sees you as a 'half'.

You want sant someone who sees you accurately, who can value you appropriately, who says
"You're moving by yourself, but we're a force when we're together.
I come along side you, and I compliment you."

4. They push you closer to God and not further away.

People don't have to share the same things to be happy.
But the question is, would God send you somebody that pulls you away from Him?

You can say "I'm happy".
That's true, but that doesn't mean you're obedient.

You can't be and "all-in-christian" if you're with someone who doesn't share those values.

You can choose between obeying the one you're with and the One you serve.

This is the problem, "We don't trust God with our happiness."

It's right in the Bible.
You see it, but you ignore it, because "I don't trust God enough to obey what You say about relationship is gonna make me happy."

You are settling for happyness when you can have joy, unexplainable joy, joy unspeakable and full of glory.

You think you know what you need, and you don't.
Your heart is deceiving you.

I don't care how strong you feel it, if it's not alligned with The Word, it's not God, He's not in it, and He will not bless it.

"I don't care how you smilin', I'm not in it."
"I don't care if you're happier than you've ever been, I'm not in it."

"Whom the Lord loves, He corrects."
Love says "Stop! I love you. This is gonna hurt you."

5. They don't interfere with your assignment, the advance it

God's not gonna give you a purpose and then send you somebody who gets in the way of you carrying it out.

Th question is "DO YOU TRUST GOD TO PROVIDE?"

I've learnt my lessons, and I've turnt from those ways.

- JEHOVAH JIREH-

P.S.
This is all from the video..I'm just typing to help a friend make presentation.
All credits go to Ps. Dharius Daniels.