It's been 2 months since I last posted anything, and it's also been 2 months of me working as the medical supervisor in Sumba Foundation.
It still feels surreal to say it out loud, since never once did it cross my mind to work in a NGO, never once did I plan to work in Sumba, even for my internship.
Especially when on 1st day of 2021, I got covid and some personal issues, I remembered not looking forward to anything in this year.
Little did I know, 2021 would bring so many surprises, new people, and also new experiences.
Well, I can't mention one by one what's been going on these past 2 months.
But, some snippets :
"Bahagia itu kita yang rasa, Ibu. Jadi terserah orang mau bilang apa, selama kita tidak ganggu kehidupan mereka, ya jalani saja. Saya tidak ganggu ko punya urusan, jangan ganggu saya punya."
~ Then I was put in silence after hearing that, for an overthinker like me, that was a brave statement to take.
"Dapat aku kau di sana? Bukannya di sana sama aja kayak dokter puskesmas? Nanti ga mau jadi klinisi?"
~ ...
"Berat banget, Mam. Ngerasa dijadiin orang jahat saat yang kau lakukan bener-bener buat orang lain, cuman gara-gara kau kerjanya di swasta."
"Kalau kau ga bahagia, resign aja. Di mana aja kau kerja, pasti kayak gitu. Apalagi kau kerja di swasta. Jangan pikir kau kerja untuk nolong orang lain. Pikirkan kau kerja untuk dirimu sendiri, semua yang kau kerjakan itu untuk dirimu."
~ When you meant to vent and complain to your too-rational, problem-solving Mom.
When all you needed was actually accepting ears and some reassurance, ahahahahahah.
Dang! I finished my freaking coass saat masalah personal aku jadi konsumsi publik, saat omongan yang ga benar tentang aku disebar, saat all I wanted to do was leaving all of it behind.
I was the MVP of those years, not gonna let that title got wasted on this one.
I'm not backing off, not until I got what's meant for me. Be it pengalaman untuk bisa punya lembaga aku sendiri natinya, be it koneksi sama peneliti-peneliti dari luar, be it SMB. Apa aja yang emang Bapa simpan buat aku di Sumba.
~
A friend : "Kenapa kamu mau nikah cepat?"
Me : "Memangnya mau tunggu apa lagi?"
~
"Aku lagi di masa yang aku sendiri ga ngerti. Kenapa saat aku makin bulat mau nikah, makin banyak yang datang di kehidupan aku, yang ada-ada aja. Kayak bener-bener makin deket ke akhir tahun, makin ada-ada aja. Jadi aku ga ngerti. Satu sisi aku tau aku mau nikah. Satu sisi aku capek lihat yang datang ada-ada aja."
~
"Ya, emang belum waktunya aja. Kita dua sama-sama punya sesuatu yang kita harapkan, aku 4 tahun, kamu 3 tahun. Emang belum waktunya aja."
~
"Tebak aku buatin apa."
~
