Monday, November 2, 2020

Blue & Grey 🐳🐘

Hi everyone. ✨

Ingat ga aku pernah bilang 'life feels like a transition phase at the moment'?

I guess it was when I was preparing for UKMPPD.


I really don't know what to feel right now.

Other than a wholehearted gratitude to God for letting me get Karitas Hospital as my internship place.

On the other notes,

1. I feel so blessed to have Dea, especially, for more than 13 years now, as my bestfriend. 

I've come to reap the benefits of fully applying that 'Hard-boiled egg' Relationship Analogy. Less drama. More openeness. And it feels lighter.


2. I am grateful for the fact that I choose not to get in a relationship status when I have that little voice inside my heart says "No, Dys. Not him. He's good, but it's not him."

Mungkin kalau aku masih 19 atau 20, aku bakal 'ngekode' cowok yang spend more time texting me, calling me buat put a status on it, tembak aku.

But, what I learnt from almost 2 years being single dan ga jadian sama siapa pun yang deket sama aku :

• aku belajar denger kata hatiku lebih lagi

• aku belajar untuk secara objektif menilai lawan bicaraku tanpa dipengaruhi rasa ketertarikan fisik atau finansial atau bahkan status sosial

• aku belajar menghargai waktu, tenaga, uang yang orang lagi deket sama aku punya, tanpa harus bikin dia ngabisin banyak ke aku, kalau sebenernya aku tahu, aku bukan untuk dia dan dia juga bukan untuk aku. And I don't have the intention untuk membuang waktu siapa pun. 

I guess buat beberapa yang pernah dekat I was playing hard-to-get yang jatuhnya untouchable, not interested. When really, I appreciate them so much, their time especially, that I don't want them to be played, even by my ego.

And I don't know if it's just with me, tapi most of them yang ga jadi, didn't stay as friends with me.

It's okay, mungkin emang dari awal ga ngarapin jadi temen.

When honestly, I'd love to have good friends, many good friends. ✨

And still, I will always wish them well. 


3. Honestly speaking, aku sebenernya campur aduk banget menyonsong akhir tahun. It seems like a short period, but somehow it feels long for me, long enough to wait for God's answer or more precisely God's provisions.


4. What about you? How has life been to you? What are the things you'd love to see come/ happen in your life?


Good night, everyone 🌌✨