Monday, April 19, 2021

Dear Abba

Abba,

is this even real?

I am not dreaming, am I?

How did the story flip just like that?

How did someone just come in my life and make me feel again, make me wanna know more again, make my heart rush, smiling so widely, giggling on every text received, feeling anxious on an incoming call?

How?

How did someone just come when I thought I wouldn't be able to heal from such deep pain and bad things?

Abba,  

I went through a lot of pain, but I know now I didn't walk by my own going through that, You've always been with me.

Bless my life Abba and use it for all Your glory and to be Your vessels to other people.


Good night,Abba.🙏🏼

Good night,  unexpected plot twist. 🥲🥰





Monday, April 5, 2021

55555

 Hi, everyone.

Aneh banget rasanya aku milih judul post pertama setelah 2 bulan off malah angka doang.

Tapi emang akhir-akhir ini, aku sering banget 'dapet' angka kembar.

Paling heran tuh pas dinas lihat jam 55555....

I was shook.


Any way,

where to start ya..

I really don't have the right words to actually describe one by one how life has been.

But what I know is that, I keep in my heart what Mom told me before leaving for Sumba, NTT, that 


"Kalau Tuhan izinkan kau pergi internship di November, dan dapat NTT, berarti ada yang Tuhan siapkan di sana untukmu. Pergilah, Nang."


Now, I really enjoy my work place at the moment, the emergency room at the hospital.

Yeah my schedule is packed and surely I feel tired after my shift, but working in the ER gives me a sense of hmmm what's the right word yah... accomplishment, it's like I actually see how the treatment given is affecting the patient, improving his condition, which is such a pleasure for me.


There's so many things yang kayaknya bakal dibilangin sebagai 'keberuntungan' kalau aku cerita ke temen-temen aku.
But, I know for sure all of these 'lucks' are God's blessing and provision for me.


Somehow, I have never felt more alive, more grateful, more on purpose, even when I still don't know what I'm gonna do after the end of this year, like will I pursue my education, will I take work contract for another year or two, or will I take the civil servant recruitment test, or will I get married.

There's this sense that everything is already taken care of.
That Abba already has something for me.
And what He has for me is the best.


It is so weird...all this 'trusting Him and letting Him work in my life' feels like it has been taken to another level. 


And ughh... 

I finally made my own podcast, it's called OVERDOS.
The name was actually Nayas' idea...and this bitch has the nerve to tell me dia belum denger karna dia ga install Spotify di HP nya -_-"

Sebenernya, apa bedanya blog ama Overdos?

Well, sama-sama aku maksudkan buat share hal-hal yang menurut aku worth sharing about, atau setidaknya beri sudut pandang yang lain ke orang.

Walau most of the times bakalan ada sharing personal life, yang juga sebenarnya ga sedetail kehidupan nyatanya, because I value secrecy, privacy, and accountability.

Bedanya, ya di podcast I can actually vocalize it, like how I would ke temen deket aku, ke sahabat aku.
And I feel like my personality is conveyed more finely through podcast.


Other than that....

SUMBA has been full of surprises.

Or should I say life has been full of surprisingly beautiful things and feelings.


So ya...stay safe everyone..

And hopefully this stormy weather pass by quickly.











little pass-over moments





P.S.


and then I was swept away,

by his politeness and simply himself.

thought I'd fall for a laid-back, casual, your-hangout-buddy type.

turnt out I've fallen for a simple one, who makes me feel honored and respected.

ahahahha...

it's funny how you finally realized what you deserve after long time of being treated poorly.