R E S T

aneh...tapi lebih dari apapun yang aku butuhkan sekarang, when it's only 22 days in 2020, adalah istirahat.

mungkin karna lingkungan koass yang lagi memanas di dalam tapi berusaha menunjukkan everything's okay on the surface.

atau karna siklus yang bermasalah.

atau karna aku yang ngejalanin sesuatu yang harusnya bersifat 'panggilan hati' tapi aku ngejalaninnya kayak suatu keharusan, suatu kerjaan rumah, suatu tugas.

so I felt overwhelmed...

kayak muka post dinas di siklus yang harus KI per 15 menit..

so...

may be taking some time resting,

even going out of town to just refresh the mind and have better perspective and have inner peace in my own heart is a way to rejuvenate myself.

💞🌻🌄

T R A N S F I G U R A T I O N

Hi y'all!

I hope y'all are doing great.

It's only 18 days into 2020, and just a lot had happended, in personal life, nationally, globally.
I can only hope that amidst all of the things that are happening, we still have hope for brighter, promising future.

I've been meaning to write, but just didn't feel like I had the 'message' I wanted to share.

As my clinical time is reaching its final point, there were times when I was doing some questions  as Exit-Exam preparation,  I got reminded by how I managed to go through the thoughest season in my life and at the same time do my clinical rotations.

It doesn't bring about sadness or anything, it just amazed me.
And I got more determined to be accepting ears, a non-judgemental heart, a safe house for my friends, who is going through stuff.
To tell them that they're not alone.
That although it sounds super cheesy, but 
IT  DOES GET BETTER.

Apart from that:  

1. This period of life just exposes people's true nature. 

2. I am glad I no longer feel the 'obligation' to stay 'friends' with some people, who don't value the things I value, who don't make the effort to keep the friendship.
This helps me to focus my time, energy, and effort to people who appreciate 'the connection'  and give back the same energy. 

3. I am grateful to Abba, for calling me and letting me go through and grow through, for Mamak-Bapak-Cia, for Mai-Oli-Opung-Dea, Gita, Nadrah, Najas...I mean semua temen-temen yang let me show my true colors, even my traumas, and let me grow and heal... 🙏🏼🌻☺️ 

I spent almost 20 years thinking I could never tell other people of my stories or they'll leave me, cuz' they must think there's something wrong in me.
That same belief that made me put too much trust and give too much to what I thought the only one who will accept. 

It is one of the most liberating feelings, to know I got my safe place to talk about my traumas and to know they don't expect anything in return from it. 

To just be Gladys.

You act different when you know your true identity

let's do this again, how about Valentine's?

C o m m i t t e d

a friend : 

Itu 'tu bukan soal ada yang tahu apa enggak, nggak sih?

Itu 'tu soal kamu megang komitmen kamu, yang kamu udah janjikan ke diri kamu sendiri.

***

Hi everyone!
I hope y'all are doing great.

I did say that I don't have any resolution for this year.
Bukan karna aku ga punya harapan apa-apa di tahun ini, cuman I think it's time untuk aku tanya dulu ke Abba, apa yang Dia mau aku lakukan di tahun ini, then I can see if my resolutions/hopes are aligned with His desires. 
           
Najas : " Jadi tahun ini resolusi lu apa?"
Me     : " Ga ada...ahahahha...blum ada w buat."
Najas  : " Tapi pasti ada kan hal yang lu mau lebih baik lagi di tahun ini..."

Ada beberapa kejadian di akhir Desember sampai ke sekarang, yang akhirnya bikin aku sadar 'this is the word for this year' :

~ C O M M I T T E D ~

This year I, Gladys Olivia, am committed to :

1. My personal relationship with Abba

Untuk bisa bilang "Prayer is My Secret Sauce", 

kalau orang nanya "How did you do it?".

 Untuk punya waktu pribadi setiap hari dengan Abba, where bukan aku aja yang ngomong, tapi aku juga denger apa yang Abba bilang.

 2. Personal self-love and self-growth 

(this includes ga boleh bilang 'capek kali koass..' 

'muak kali koass', walopun I may feel it like constantly 😶, 

but harus simpan dalam hati)

3. Building a humble, open, and encouraging home 

So Bapak-Mamak-Cia-Edys grow towards each other's purposes 

and be blessings to others

4.Builing an open, empowering, and fruitful relationships

Sebenernya ini sih yang paling buat aku ngerasa tahun ini tahun "committed". 

Karna dalam hubungan dengan siapa pun, 

terutama hubungan dimana kita udah ngenal satu sama lain lebih dalam, 

kita harus ingat komitmen awal kita ngebangun hubungan itu apa, dan sadar dalam hubungan itu masing-masing individu punya latar belakang masing-masing, mimpi masing-masing, dan cara masing-masing.

So, even though cara kita berbeda, kita tahu kita punya 'dasar'/ 'values' yang sama, dan kita punya tujuan dari apa yang kita jalanin. 

"Where there is no vision, the people perish." Proverb 29 : 18

In other words, where there is no vision, people stop caring for one another.

What makes us stay standing together, even at the worst times, bukan perasaan, 

cuz' feelings change according to our circumstances, 

it is our commitment to our vision on what we wanna achieve from all of this.

that's all for now

XOXO

Edys