[Movie Review] hichki (2018)

The thing 'bout loneliness

Hello everyone!

Happy Sunday.

I hope ya'all having great time. 💕💕

I didn't know many people working as doctors or were a medical student at the time I was about to make the decision to take the test.

Now, the thing is.... medical student is already another thing, clinical student is way up-in-the-sky level of another thing.

I'm in my second cycle now, Forensic, which also means I am the town prisoner, since I can not go outta town, for in case there's a sudden unusual death, we're having dead body physical examination, like anytime the case comes.

Be it midnight, be it at dawn. you gotta get to the hospital, or you'll fail. 

It's that simple. 😳😎 

I don't know if it's just me or may be the other anak coass ( clinical students ) have ever felt this way.

Clinical term makes you interact with so many people, the patients, your lecturers (the doctors, consultants), the doctors doing their residency, the nurses, the staff, the other health-related students, your clinical friends.

The consistency of this meeting takes almost 9 to 12 hours, it even can be up to 36 hours if you're having the night shift, makes you feel like you are never alone, like you're surrounded by that many people, so lonely was not exactly something you'll feel when you're at the hospital.

Then you finish your shift, it's time to come home. 

Now you're alone....and at my experience I was lonely.

Like, in clinical term, you and your friends won't have the same schedule...so don't expect much on having your friends come or having day/night out.

Jo is back in Jakarta. Ulfa is in Medan. Since, they still haven't started their clinical term.

Mai was having different schedules. Oli was not available.

It was so lonely...that I just cried....

Like "man....I didn't know it was gonna be this up-side-down in coass (clinical term)."

Second, all the people I mentioned above, the people you meet in the hospital, the are people with emotions, with different backgrounds, different views, different ways of reacting.

Don't be surprised when you just started your day feeling good..and you by any chance, got nagged, or complained. or nicely speaking, negatively fedback by those people.

That is the thing.

That what clinical term in human medicine looks like, but somehow, you still feel grateful cuz' these experiences enriched you.

But, I totally get it now, why there are medical workers (esp. recidency doctors) commit suicide.

Their working hour is 100 times higher than mine, so is the expectation they carry, the emotions the feel.

So...I will always say this to anyone telling and asking my opinions on him/her becoming a medical students, 

"My friends, it's a whole different world here. If you want it just for your parents, or anyone but you, leave it. There are other things greater than becoming a doctor. Trust me."

Meanwhile, I am handling the loneliness nicely.... #hopefully No..I mean it 😂😄

It's just since when I had that darkest time, no one was around, so right now I want it to stay that way.

Just let me be alone right now...figuring out how to feel towards these....towards my closest ones weren't there when I needed the most.

I know it seems rude...like shutting the doors for people...but I need that in mean time...

Too mush disappoitment in friendship right now....in having good time together but gone missing when needed...

I guess loneliness can do some good when we are accepting it...just the way it is.

May be that way we can appreciate our company better in the future.

If you have a word or experience the same or anything in  your clinical term...feel free to share, in comments, in twitter, emai, or FB...

I would really love to hear others' stories.

XoXo
Gladys Olivia