Friday, April 21, 2017

When you hit the rock bottom

So, I just finished watching SING.
It's actually Cia who recommended this one to me, and I downloaded it.
And since tomorrow I got nothing big, other than my Final Semester Test for Metedologi Penelitian (which I freaking try to understand...and just don't πŸ™ˆπŸ˜€πŸ˜œ ) so yeah...


The movie is good.
It's really refreshing to watch the movie.
Especially after the "huge" news in our faculty.

1. For the first time, Andalas Medical faculty is sending the PRECLINIC students to KKN.
Usually med-school students do KKN in their clinical year in Unand.

2. Starting from our year ( batch 2014), every thing is measured, EVERY FREAKING THING.
Skills lab has its own SKS (points in GPA).
Lab works have their own exams and will be accumulated in the final points.


3. Even we have exams for FOME and now, research methodelogy. Which NONE of our seniors DID.

4. Our final paper (skripsi ) timing is delayed compared to our seniors'.
And now we had KKN comin in July, and the clinical term usually starts on february and the preparation starts from january


Basically means :
"can't really do final paper that time!" "GOODLUCK doing it within 4 months,fellas!" πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘
5. We have OSCE STRAIGHT after KNN.
" Like how am I gonna practice in my KKN time?" πŸ˜”πŸ˜ͺπŸ˜ͺπŸ˜₯


6. Starting from this year also, Junior Clerkship is gonna have EXAMS.
( Like all the exams are still not enough for us πŸ˜«πŸ˜«)


So yeahh, seems like our last year of Preclinic will be the time of our life.
time when 'becoming a doctor' is questioned.
time when you think " is it worth it?" πŸ‘€

"Can I just get married? Like I don't need a medical degree to do so..πŸ‘ˆ πŸ‘…πŸ‘Ώ

and it's also the time when I go :

"
Bapa, kalau memang ini jalan yang harus aku lewati untuk mencapai mimpiku, kuatkanlah aku. Teguhkanlah aku Bapa. Teguhkanlah aku Ya Bapa. "


And watching SING just teaches me


" It's good to hit the rock bottom. Cuz' there's no other way than UP."





So yeah..goodnight dreamers.
Sleep tight, cuz' you're gonna need that energy to make them come true. πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Misconception People Carry Around

So, it’s almost 3 years ( to be precise, it’s 2 years and 8 months) I’ve been staying in Padang.
And these kind of questions always occur along the way, whether it’s with my neighbor, church people, or friends.
“ Do you wear hijab there?”
“ Do you have any church there?”
Those kind of questions.
So, for almost 3 years I’ve been in Padang, I’ve always been going to church.
And yeah, I did wear hijab once, in a event my Standing Committee in CIMSA held, World Diabetes Day. And it wasn’t because any one asked me to, it was because I wanna try.
Truth is, so many people with small experiences are the ones with the biggest mouth.

I make friends here. And honestly, the closets friends I have are the open minded ones.
I don’t see why religions should be big deal when your making friends, or going to study out of town, or even overseas.
Because the truth is, it’s about what you believe inside.
in your dreams, in your faith, in you.





This is how I usually dress for coollege. 
Skirt and shirt.

Either it's long sleeve or short shirt.
Either it's ankle-length or knee-length.






P.S : So Imma be doing this Misconception things…in some parts.
First one is this. The laters will be on Medan, positives and negatives from Medan and Padang.

So yeah.. till the next post.
XOXO

G la dy s

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

M e e t m y f r i e n d, ACNE.

I never thought I would be posting this thing.
Because I kinda just wanted to keep it secret, 'cause I felt embarrassed of it.
But it's almost 2 years now, since I had my first acne vulgaris flare.

So, here's what happened just now.
I was eating in a warung ampera by myself, cause it's exam day and whenever it's exam, most medical students in Unand prefer staying ( and perhaps studying ) at home.
So. I was enjoying my meal, when I heard

Man : " Dek.."
Me :  #noleh ke asal suara
Man : " Anak saya dulu kayak kamu juga wajahnya. Percis. Merah juga."
Me : " Iya Pak....lagi diobati." #put a smile on it
Man : " Makan aja DEXAMETHASON sama CTM. Anak saya makan itu. 2 kali sehari. Hilang sekarang. Ga ada lagi..."

Truth be told, I didn't feel hurt nor embarrassed then, and not feeling it now neither.
Weird thing is, I am concerned of his kid.
How many DEXAMETHASON did she/he take? For how long?
Did he/she stop taking it just instantly?
How is he/she doing right now? → should've asked him this one. πŸ˜–πŸ˜–πŸ˜–


Dexamethasone is a corticosteroid drug. It's used for anti-inflamation, this' why the Man kid's acnes stop. It's usually prescribed for severe inflamatory, after organ transplantation, and in auto-immune disease, such as Lupus.
In Indonesia, people can get Dexamethasone in any drugstore without prescription.
The thing is, it HAS DANGEROUS SIDE EFFECTS.
You can not use it like any other drug.  It can suppress one's immunity, it can alter the ADRENAL secretion. 


And trust me, you don't wanna mess with the adrenal gland.


So....acne...


Acne vulgaris is a common chronic skin disease involving blockage and/or inflammation of pilosebaceous units (hair follicles and their accompanying sebaceous gland).  


And the etiologies of acne :

Intrinsic factors 

genetics
race
hormone

Extinsic factors

stress
climate/ temperature / humidity
cosmetic
diet
drugs


- Buku Ilmu Penyakit Kulit dan Kelamin 
Fakultas Kedokteran Universitas Indonesia








I come from a family, my mom's side, with oily-skin and acne-flare-in-young-adulthood history.
I, myself, notice that the acnes will come in the last week of my menstrual cycle.
I had acne flare last year, after applying a cream that my mom bought in he market. It didn't have any brand. It was yellow and rather shiny. 
After that, the flare just went crazy. I had it all over my face, and even it woke my up at night because of the pain felt in my face.

Truth be told, I was so embarrassed that I chose not to go out, wore a mask when I went to campus, minimized any unnecessary conversations with any one.
Yes I'VE BEEN THERE.

My Mom even went mad because I kept on whining about it.
She was like :

" Gak Pa, biar dia tau. Kalau sekarang Tuhan kasih kek gini, emang apa mau kita bilang. Emang kita mau terima yang enak aja dari Tuhan. Dikasih yang gak enak, lansung marah."


It was because I was acting so childish.
After that, I went on a dermatologist care, who is also my lecturer at campus.
It was from January 20th 2016 untill October 2016.
The medicatition did cost a lot. That was the time when Mom had to send me money 2 times my normal one semester expenses.

I stopped coming for more, when I was kept on beeing told to go on Derma Roller by the doctor.
Because that one cost like the price of a motorcycle. πŸ‘΄πŸ‘΅

After I stopped, I was using Retinoid Acid cream. I still have acnes here and there, but it was still manageable, untill last week.
Whether it was due to the 6th week (one week before exam), my menstrual cycle, or my diet, the acnes was way more than I can take.
So, I went to another doctor. And today is day 6 of the medication. Right now my face is kinda redish and dark in some spots, due to the dead skin that hasn't pilled-off yet.


Well, having acne didn't just change my monthly expenses, or make me know how treatment can be so frustating and challenging.
But in this almost 2 year process, I've learnt :

1. To see me as I AM.
The flare-up. The calm phase. Family history. 
Things that I can not change as the way it is. I am working on making it better, but if it just doesn't when all the effort is given, then accepting the way it is, is the cure, at least for the heart.

2. To guard my own heart
Whenever people ask about it, or give advices, I try to remember they mean good.
It's me who have to make sure that I'm in peace with myself, what people say shouldn't matter.


The way I see my Acne Vulgaris now, is just like an ALLERGIC RHINITIS, or FOOD ALLERGY,  or ASTHMA.
How, some people wake up in the morning with runny nose and sneezes. Or how some people can't eat shrimp if they don't wanna find itchy, reddish, swollen skin,mouth, or throat.
Those are conditions people are born with.
All we can do is making sure we stay away from what may precipitate the 'attack.
And if it comes, handle it with good care. 



I know that I'm not always optimistic about my medication. There are times, when it gets tiring and boring. But I'm gonna remind myself with this post whenever that time comes. 
              πŸ™πŸ’ͺπŸ’‹



xoxo
G l a d o s.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

While I was ironing my laundry

I realised this





       behind every great man, there's a great woman.
         and behind every great woman, there's an incredible mother.














Thursday, March 2, 2017

20-ish S P I N

Mom : “ Sekarang aku ngerti sama apa yang kau bilang Dys. Kalau sesuatu bisa kita impikan, alam semesta akan mengarahkan segala jalannya agar itu terjadi. “


How happy and flattered I was knowing that my theory is basically acknowledged by my Mom, my role model..hahhahhaha πŸ˜†πŸ˜‡πŸ˜Ž
It feels great to not only be the one who get, but also give to others, especially our loved-ones.
πŸ’“πŸ’•

#StupidToTheCORE

Me : “ I can’t see it, Ncip.”
Ncip : “ Coba liat yang bener.”
Me : “ Am I too deep inside?”
Ncip : “ NO!!YOU’RE STILL FAR!!”
Me :
#ngeliat otoskop aku masih di ujung liang telingan Ncip 
       “HAHAHAHHAHAH!!!! Pantesan!!! Masuk aja belum,…hahahah



***


People usually laugh when they see my desktop. Because I put an iPhone as my background. Not just another iPhone. That is the iPhone I want for my clerk-ship. The iPhone that I want to make sure I deserve having by doing my last pre-clinic year more enthusiatically, wholeheartedly, and purposedly.

So, people can laugh as they wish.
Me? I’m thankful for that. The more people picturing me and the iPhone, the greater the massage I sent to the universe, that I want a rose-gold iPhone so bad. πŸ˜ŽπŸ’ͺπŸ’‹






***

At the moment, I’m looking forward to my CIMSA period to be over.#MauCepetLengser
And it will be officially over on April 8-9. Also, I’m on the 5th week now, so there’s around 11 days before block 3.4 exam. And as the numbers of my block go up, the more specific my study gets and the more effort I gotta give.


So yeah, have a nice weekend every one.
Have a great 20-ish spin of life, for everyone who’s  with me.
And hold tight on what you dream. 

If you can dream it, If you can imagine living in it, than it’s POSSIBLE.






Wednesday, February 15, 2017

G o l d D i g g e r

I have always loved daydreaming.
May be that's why whenever unexpected things come, I used too be so dissapointed when it turn out to be different from the one I daydreamt.

Yuphh.. I'm that naive...but working on it now. ✋πŸ‘€πŸ‘―

Today, we are having one off day due to the public election, but my group had skill-lab at the hospital at 2 p.m.
And I had Cimsa Unand Anniversary plenary meeting before, starting at 10 a.m.

So yeah, didn't feel like holiday....hahhahaha πŸ˜ŽπŸ˜‚

Any way, luckily I'm not feeling too tired today, I still got the energy to do my laundry manually ( read. by hands πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ˜€πŸ˜€) and made this post.  

I kinda made a deal with myself, that this last one
year of preclinic time, I am not using the laundry service. I am doing it myself, because I'm saving up the money,
so when I finish my medical student and get my general practitioner degree, I have enough money to buy myself my own gold.  πŸ’‹πŸ’“πŸ˜›


I know...I know...like this is 2017 and I'm still saving for gold?!
But whatever! That's my goal. 😎😺😝
And that's the one keeping me motivated to spare my money and put it on my "princess-and-the-frog" piggy-bank. πŸ‘†


So...happy wednesday night people.

May God bless today's elected governor and his vice. πŸ™πŸ™
And happy tutorial-preparing night to all PED14TRICs out there.


And, last but not least, I'm so happy for my loved Mustika has done her seminar proposal!!

So proud of you girl!
May Ucik, There, and I catch up immediately. 


#AmenYaBapa




Saturday, February 11, 2017

la tua cantante

Dear diary,

I got up at 5 this morning, so it was only a 2-hour sleep.

I don’t really know where to start, because this week just feels even more challenging in each day.
Last time I posted, it was around 7 p.m.
That day I lost my phone. And I just realized it the next morning ‘cause my alarm usually blasts out early in the morning.


It’s been a busy time since last weekend. It’s been 7-to-4 college time. It’s been 4-till-drop doing CIMSA, doing TNT, doing Comdev Corner preparation, monitoring the rest of the comdevs. It’s been a college-home-college-CIMSA-home cycle. 
And it’s been a-whole-day self-assurance mantra,
 “You can do this, Dys. You can.”
 
It was the first time that I couldn’t bear it any more, so I rushed home from college. And just cry…


“ Ya Bapa, Edys ga sanggup lagi.
Edys ga sanggup ya Bapa…”


Then a friend came , because we had to print proposals at CIMSA’s secretariat.

Her : “You okay, Dys?”
Me : “I’m fine.”
                                                        ***
I did everything to get me through this, cause I promised myself that  I will be tough.
But reading the message just stops my whole world. I was paralized.
And suddenly the tears starts falling. 
And before I even know why they were there, it turnt into a mourning.
 
“ Ambilah Bapa. Ambil aja semuanya.
Edys ga bisa apa-apa lagi.
Edys ga bisa usaha apa-apa lagi.
Edys ga bisa ubah apa-apa.
Ambil lah Bapa semuanya. Ambil.”
                                                            
 
I always believe that work will always help us achieve what we’re praying for.
But this time.

No work could I do.

No words could I use to decribe my feelings right now.
 
It’s like He’s the only one who can turn this around. 

Or it’s like the world is asking me to see life as it is,
sections, separations, rules we don’t even know why, ones that bound us.