Sunday, August 7, 2016

cover me roses

 you make my heart shake, bend, and break
but I can't turn away

Sometimes, not knowing is way better than showering ourselves with unlimited amount of information.
Sometimes, self-restraining is just as important as going to school, working, getting things done.
Sometimes, swimming away from the flow doesn't mean you're rude, that you don't follow "norms". 
They simply mean you know what you need, you know what your weakness is, and you know how to make the best out of it.

This thing has long been my " itch ".
Instagram. Path. Especially the first one.

People post stuff, places they go, dates the have, kisses they give, gifts they get, party they attend, holiday they've dreamt of .
And those are good. Sharing stories. Sharing experiences they say.

At first it was all fun.
Then numbers start to matter. Picture's quality becomes priority. And poetic caption is compulsory.

My spare time was much spent looking through others' stack of photos.
It was okay, until I found myself comparing myself, my holiday, my university to others'.
It left me with envious feeling, and even worse ungratefulness for my life.

So I decided to uninstall those apps.
At first it was for my " happiness of quest " challenge.
Then it went long enough for me to just go without them.

I am not writing this to judge people. 
The feeling of writing real-life events is just one big of an achievement for me.
I'm able to reflect and see myself in a clearer mirror.

At the current time, I will open instagram in browser.
That is usually to see Kylie Janner's, Awkarin's, and missed friends' latest situation.
For most of the time, it will be reading Metagraf's post in Line , watching various videos in youtube, downloading new music from the browser.

And right now, if I'm having the thought to be active in instagram, I make quest to post things that goes with my blogging.

I'm planning on making this writing space my on-line room, decorate it in nicer and neater fashion. I'm showering this blog with gladysglados' colors.


Friday, May 27, 2016


So, I've been quiet...hehehe..
it's just I'm ,ovimg to a new place thus thrusday and right now I'm in my warehouse-looking-like room XD
Today was a day off, somehow we finally have a t total day=off in Medical School XD
And I was marathon-watching grey's Anatomy, hitting Season 3 Ep. 3 ow :( #I'mAProudWatcher hahahha
But this migrane I'm having is a good reminder that this is too much and I can use some cycling  tomorrow morning :)

May my moving-out plan goes smoothly.
May God bless my candidaturing this time.
May I grow into a kind and generous lady.

Goof night people.
xoxo, Glados.

Thursday, May 19, 2016


I'll promise to build a new world for us two
With you in the middle

Once upon a modern life, there was a girl, who had several dark experiences and a control-maniac problem.
She grew up thinking she had to keep those stories to herself and to make sure she become the best lady she could be, at least from her point of view, a social-culturally poisoned point of view. 

When puberty hit her, she made sure she got one of the things each person should have to be respected. They are beauty, wealth, and intelligence.
She knew she wasn't in any position and ability to change herself into her once again social-culturally poisoned meaning of beautiful nor wealthy, so she told herself "I have to work on that intelligence then."
Naively, she thought it was all about numbers and rank.
So she made her way up to those imaginative numbers just to be 'considered' present.
That went for six years of her life.

Then came the time when all the friends talked about college.
The shallow-minded girl didn't know why her old lady insisted her becoming a doctor.
For in her chaotic mind, fashion megazine was always a way out and public speaking was always a WOW.
But, the poisonous social-culture never really did take Public Relation and Megazine Editor a career. So did her old lady.

In the world where she thought everything had to be fought for, a miracle took place.
But in form she didn't expect.
Better than nothing. Better than a private collage. Better than international relation major. 
Those were the reasons she did dentistry.

Her world spun.
She started having her own group, spending more time playing with the girls, and having her so-called first boyfriend.
First time was always a spin of try-and-error.
Having someone to call her before bed-time for the first time, sitting in the passenger seat in a car with a total stranger who she trusted to spend time with, holding hands in public on their way to the movie.
All first time experience.

But even in the first time experience, she knew deep within it wasn't going anywhere further.
She thought there were too many differences. She couldn't keep up with the financially more secured and royal partner.

It was almost like a free pass to kindly end the relationship when the announcement of new university students published.
A new start she thought.
" This time I made my old lady proud. I skipped the bad ending-relationship scenes. I'm not gonna be sold short by others. "

Those shallow thoughts...

She wanted a start over, here she got a total one. 
No more pants to university. No more girl-group. No more old lady's cookings. No more staying in her room just to avoid her old man.

New cultures. New studying methode. New friends. New someone.
Wasn't an easy thing to adjust when all there was total turn-over, total opposite to how it was always in the old city.

But it was really a miracle.

The three things she thought as life-key started shaking her grounds.
Intelligence? Where girl, they got tons others even better than her.

Wealth? Seriously! Nobody knew how your life in the city. All they knew your just another girl living in a paid-room coming from a non-Java city. So not metropolitant.

BAM!In a blink of time, all she had was acne break-out all over the face.

"How could a miracle come in such an ugly shape?"

It was the ugly-shaped miracle.
Patience to a control-maniac. It was the real miracle.

Patience in ignoring racistic worlds from certain lecturers.
Patience when she no longer can ride by her own and had to take public transport every where.
Patience when she didn't feel belong anywhere.
Patience when she find anatomy just incredibly challenging.
Patience when things didn't go as she wished for.
Patience when it took months for the out-break to resolve.
Patience for herself and with herself.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016


Q : Kenapa sih kamu pengen banget ke disco?
A : Aku pengen aja ngerasaainnya. Aku juga mikir dulu kalau udah cukup umur mau ke situ. Like I wanna do things. Mau tau dunia malam.
Q : Kan dunia malam ga disco aja? Kamu pergi nonton malam juga termasuk. Apa pun yang kamu lakuin di malam hari dan bikin kamu bahagia.
A : Haahaa... Iya sih. Kan cuman mau coba aja, 1 kali doang kok. #Negotiating
Q : Iya satu kali juga banyak. 1 kali satu bulan, 1 kali satu minggu. #GivingVictoryFace

P R O G R E S S  I S  R E A L.
B E  P A T I E N T  A L O N G  T H E  P R O C E S S. 



Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Talk TEDx to ME

Hi everyone!
Well, it's the fisrt day of Cardiovascular Block's exam.
How was it?
" Ya gitu lah... XD"

Any way, I've just discovered this TED Talk channel in Youtube. And I LOVE IT!
They make great talk about many things...and I find this one and some others, soo true. :)
You can start from the list I've liked (Youtube ID : Gladys Olivia) or fnd your loved ones by yourself!

xoxo, Glados.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

J - P O I N T

Delloo all!
It's Sunday, and I'll be having block exam on wednesday and Friday.
Yayness is that I'll be back in Medan from saturday to the next Sunday.

But that's not what's bothering me right now.
It's the the unanswered question.

What am I doing here?
Why do we have exams?
We spend 3 to 4 days listening to the lecturer's recordings and memorizing their slides, and reading the questionaries. After that, the day comes. We did all we could. Some of us pass, some don't. But even if the "did-well" ones get asked 'what you gonna do if a patient 45 y.o comes with chest-pain complain?' , the majority will take time to think...and finally guess the procedures.

No more multiple choices.
No more lucky guessing.
No more pencil and paper.

Being a medical student might be some people's dreams. But to some it might be another spare plan, another "making-my-parents-happy" deed, and so many other reasons.

Me : " Buk..aku mau ujian...tapi aku malas kali... :( "
Dea : " Smangat Bu Dokter! Ingat orang-orang yang bakal kau obatin nanti.."
Me : #Don't reply the chat 

I know exactly how happy my family is with this major I'm taking.
And I'm grateful for this.
For every single thing that has come unexpectedly and shaped me.

But, trurt is...
I, myself, can't understand how circulation system works in one week. I can not understand how the same risk factors bring different pathologic condition. I don't understand ECGs lines in a 3-meeting skills-lab. I don't understand how aortic regurgitation makes different murmur to aortic stenosis. I don't understand why some people develop atrial fibrilation while other can stay in atrial flutter.
And I seriuosly can not master those in 6 weeks of "studying".

Medical school is a facinating thing, yeah it is.
But before stepping in here, the best thing anyone could have is motivation.
Because you may pass, but holding on is another level of struggles.
Patience and persistence.

Be patient myself.
Be really patient.
Take a deep breath. Take a shower in the middle of your studying time.
Watch LDP videos.
Dream the life you want.
Dream the dreams you want.
It is a blurry journey, but isn't everyone's?

Take a deep breath.
And be patient.
So later, if a 45 y.o man with chest-pain comes to you, you know whether to give ISDN nor to give oxygen first.
So later, when a man suddenly drops after screaming in cheers over a football match, you know how many times you should push against his sternum and when you need defibrilation.
So later, when a 50 y.o woman comes for her hypertension consultation, you know exactly that the advices you give are evidence-based.
So later, you know you are not wearing the coat for your family, for your future husband, for your pride, for whatever the freaking people may say about you.
So you know you are wearing it for yourself, so you may bring relieves to others.
So you can smile when the 45 y.o man say "Terima kasih, Bu dokter."

xoxo, Glados.

Thursday, April 21, 2016


So, I might have posted about this movie back at high-school time.
And I gotta be honest, I was one of the audience who think of Summer as the "villain".
But, as my age adds up, I see the movie as one of the greatest cultural message.
And you should see it!!! :)
Tell me what you think at comments below! :)

Have a great life people!
xoxo, Glados.