Let Me Sign

hey blog!!!..it's been a looongg while.

I have so many things to write, to tell, to be gotten out of my mind.

Life, these past 3 months, has been passing so damn fast.

There's always a long list of things to do. A lot of expectations to be fulfilled.

And I just can't take it all by myself.

I'm scared. What if this thing I'm doing right now is leading me to a worse situation?

And  I feel like skipping this part, but who do I think I am to skip time?!

                                                                 ***

Aku selalu suka dunia entertainment. I love the cycle of starship. I love seeing new talents found. I love the spotlight. I love performing. I love dancing like crazy to no music at all. I love my singing although I know I miss on many notes :p .  Writing to my, is like a dope. That even if I haven't used it for a long time, I still crave for it. I find it easier to express my thoughts through writings than speaking to people -who I know will sooner or later, in front or behind my back- will critize me.  I love every single song that i've been singing for countless times.  I'm always amazed by great people's stories. How they follow their hearts, and hell yeah the roads have never been without pot-holes, but they keep on going, keep on fighting, believing in themselves. I'm no jenius. I'm no powerful. I'm no politician, and I can never see myself as one. I'm no sociallite. I'm no role-model. I make mistakes. My naieve-nature has always brought me to a place I never expected. To heart-breaks, dissapointment,and anger for many times. Sometimes, I wish I could let myself fantasize about things. About living in a huge, looked-like palace house. About having a boyfriend like every girl wants. About living somebody's life. But even if I close my eyes now, and asked to imagine the things I wanna do.

I imagine myself wearing a beautiful little dress, a pair of adorable strap-heels, talking to Adam Lambert on the red carpet. From there I can see Paramore, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift and many others walking the carpet and stop for some camera-time. 

 I find Desy Anwar's job -interviewing people with different stories-, exciting. To actually talk and share thoughts with people who right now I can only know from Wikipedia, people whom I think jenius, people with passion and principles.  

I dont blame my parents for "hoping" me to become a doctor. I will do it for them. 
But I can never hide my passion and curiousity to this world called “entertainment”.