cover me roses

 you make my heart shake, bend, and break

but I can't turn away

Sometimes, not knowing is way better than showering ourselves with unlimited amount of information.

Sometimes, self-restraining is just as important as going to school, working, getting things done.

Sometimes, swimming away from the flow doesn't mean you're rude, that you don't follow "norms". 

They simply mean you know what you need, you know what your weakness is, and you know how to make the best out of it.

This thing has long been my " itch ".

Instagram. Path. Especially the first one.

People post stuff, places they go, dates the have, kisses they give, gifts they get, party they attend, holiday they've dreamt of .

And those are good. Sharing stories. Sharing experiences they say.

At first it was all fun.

Then numbers start to matter. Picture's quality becomes priority. And poetic caption is compulsory.

My spare time was much spent looking through others' stack of photos.

It was okay, until I found myself comparing myself, my holiday, my university to others'.

It left me with envious feeling, and even worse ungratefulness for my life.

So I decided to uninstall those apps.

At first it was for my " happiness of quest " challenge.

Then it went long enough for me to just go without them.

I am not writing this to judge people. 

The feeling of writing real-life events is just one big of an achievement for me.

I'm able to reflect and see myself in a clearer mirror.

At the current time, I will open instagram in browser.

That is usually to see Kylie Janner's, Awkarin's, and missed friends' latest situation.

For most of the time, it will be reading Metagraf's post in Line , watching various videos in youtube, downloading new music from the browser.

And right now, if I'm having the thought to be active in instagram, I make quest to post things that goes with my blogging.

I'm planning on making this writing space my on-line room, decorate it in nicer and neater fashion. I'm showering this blog with gladysglados' colors.

xoxo,

Gladys.

H O M E

So, I've been quiet...hehehe..
it's just I'm ,ovimg to a new place thus thrusday and right now I'm in my warehouse-looking-like room XD
Today was a day off, somehow we finally have a t total day=off in Medical School XD
And I was marathon-watching grey's Anatomy, hitting Season 3 Ep. 3 ow :( #I'mAProudWatcher hahahha
But this migrane I'm having is a good reminder that this is too much and I can use some cycling  tomorrow morning :)

May my moving-out plan goes smoothly.
May God bless my candidaturing this time.
May I grow into a kind and generous lady.

Goof night people.
xoxo, Glados.

Talk TEDx to ME

Hi everyone!

Well, it's the fisrt day of Cardiovascular Block's exam.

How was it?

" Ya gitu lah... XD"

:p

Any way, I've just discovered this TED Talk channel in Youtube. And I LOVE IT!

They make great talk about many things...and I find this one and some others, soo true. :)

You can start from the list I've liked (Youtube ID : Gladys Olivia) or fnd your loved ones by yourself!

xoxo, Glados.

J - P O I N T

Delloo all!
It's Sunday, and I'll be having block exam on wednesday and Friday.
Yayness is that I'll be back in Medan from saturday to the next Sunday.

But that's not what's bothering me right now.
It's the the unanswered question.

What am I doing here?
Why do we have exams?
We spend 3 to 4 days listening to the lecturer's recordings and memorizing their slides, and reading the questionaries. After that, the day comes. We did all we could. Some of us pass, some don't. But even if the "did-well" ones get asked 'what you gonna do if a patient 45 y.o comes with chest-pain complain?' , the majority will take time to think...and finally guess the procedures.

No more multiple choices.
No more lucky guessing.
No more pencil and paper.
                                                ***

Being a medical student might be some people's dreams. But to some it might be another spare plan, another "making-my-parents-happy" deed, and so many other reasons.

Me : " Buk..aku mau ujian...tapi aku malas kali... :( "
Dea : " Smangat Bu Dokter! Ingat orang-orang yang bakal kau obatin nanti.."
Me : #Don't reply the chat 

I know exactly how happy my family is with this major I'm taking.
And I'm grateful for this.
For every single thing that has come unexpectedly and shaped me.

But, trurt is...
I, myself, can't understand how circulation system works in one week. I can not understand how the same risk factors bring different pathologic condition. I don't understand ECGs lines in a 3-meeting skills-lab. I don't understand how aortic regurgitation makes different murmur to aortic stenosis. I don't understand why some people develop atrial fibrilation while other can stay in atrial flutter.
And I seriuosly can not master those in 6 weeks of "studying".

Medical school is a facinating thing, yeah it is.
But before stepping in here, the best thing anyone could have is motivation.
Because you may pass, but holding on is another level of struggles.
Patience and persistence.

Be patient myself.
Be really patient.
Take a deep breath. Take a shower in the middle of your studying time.
Watch LDP videos.
Dream the life you want.
Dream the dreams you want.
It is a blurry journey, but isn't everyone's?

Take a deep breath.
And be patient.
So later, if a 45 y.o man with chest-pain comes to you, you know whether to give ISDN nor to give oxygen first.
So later, when a man suddenly drops after screaming in cheers over a football match, you know how many times you should push against his sternum and when you need defibrilation.
So later, when a 50 y.o woman comes for her hypertension consultation, you know exactly that the advices you give are evidence-based.
So later, you know you are not wearing the coat for your family, for your future husband, for your pride, for whatever the freaking people may say about you.
So you know you are wearing it for yourself, so you may bring relieves to others.
So you can smile when the 45 y.o man say "Terima kasih, Bu dokter."

xoxo, Glados.

W A R N I N G S

So, I might have posted about this movie back at high-school time.

And I gotta be honest, I was one of the audience who think of Summer as the "villain".

But, as my age adds up, I see the movie as one of the greatest cultural message.

And you should see it!!! :)

Tell me what you think at comments below! :)

Have a great life people!

xoxo, Glados.

SELF-REFLECTION

" Coba jelaskan gimana self-reflection kamu terhadap diri kamu sendiri! "

Hi, everyone!
I've been off for too long that I couldn't remember when was the last time I posted anything.
It was the regeneration time in every student organisation in Unand, and I was candidating.
So, here I am after all the candidating.
Back at my favorite thing to do, writing.

That line came from my senior in CIMSA when I was having "ask-more" time about my vision, mision, and point of actions.

This whole time being in CIMSA, in my local and in national, has for sure brought so many new experiences to me.
I've never been more thrilled to plan things structuredly than when I was making my POAs for candidature.
I've never felt the need to make priority-table than when I'm doing my national duty and at the same time trying to finish my LOs or in my exam week.
I've never felt more empowered than when I'm with CIMSA.

BTW, kindly read these articles I wrote for CIMSA UNAND's project megazine, Newsletter.
I wrote  SPRING, UPGRADING, and MASS-RECRUITING DISEASE. :)
https://issuu.com/cimsaunand/docs/newsletter_2nd_edition

After a few years of being alive...

xoxo, Glados.