20-ish S P I N

Mom : “ Sekarang aku ngerti sama apa yang kau bilang Dys. Kalau sesuatu bisa kita impikan, alam semesta akan mengarahkan segala jalannya agar itu terjadi. “

How happy and flattered I was knowing that my theory is basically acknowledged by my Mom, my role model..hahhahhaha 😆😇😎
It feels great to not only be the one who get, but also give to others, especially our loved-ones. 💓💕

#StupidToTheCORE

Me : “ I can’t see it, Ncip.”
Ncip : “ Coba liat yang bener.”
Me : “ Am I too deep inside?”
Ncip : “ NO!!YOU’RE STILL FAR!!”
Me : #ngeliat otoskop aku masih di ujung liang telingan Ncip 
       “HAHAHAHHAHAH!!!! Pantesan!!! Masuk aja belum,…hahahah”

***

People usually laugh when they see my desktop. Because I put an iPhone as my background. Not just another iPhone. That is the iPhone I want for my clerk-ship. The iPhone that I want to make sure I deserve having by doing my last pre-clinic year more enthusiatically, wholeheartedly, and purposedly.

So, people can laugh as they wish.
Me? I’m thankful for that. The more people picturing me and the iPhone, the greater the massage I sent to the universe, that I want a rose-gold iPhone so bad. 😎💪💋

***

At the moment, I’m looking forward to my CIMSA period to be over.#MauCepetLengser
And it will be officially over on April 8-9. Also, I’m on the 5^th week now, so there’s around 11 days before block 3.4 exam. And as the numbers of my block go up, the more specific my study gets and the more effort I gotta give.


So yeah, have a nice weekend every one.
Have a great 20-ish spin of life, for everyone who’s  with me.
And hold tight on what you dream. 
If you can dream it, If you can imagine living in it, than it’s POSSIBLE.

Dear Future Me

Today, 6th february 2017, I felt so occupied on CIMSA.
I couldn't had any call time with my famiy last Thursday till Saturday.
Nor could I get a good sleep.

How preparing for Training New Trainer Region 2 took all my time from right after tutorial till 10 p.m.
Then on Sunday, I had Samangaik Comdev Corner's preparation from 11 a.m to 4 p.m.
Meanwhile, I had tutorial today at 8 a.m. and the clean laundry that hasn't been ironed still laying on my bed.
And now, I'm typing on my laptop just right after I reached home from Samangaik's performance practice while waiting for chat-meeting on Skype for Community Development Coordinators of CIMSA.

In case one day you feel like helpless and tired, remember these days.

Remeber this time of the year.

When you have to walk by yourself, go by yourself, manage your feelings, manage your time, control your reactions to others, and indeed, you managed to do it all, you've passed it.

And I'm sure you can and you will pass this one too, 

no matter what it is.

cover me roses

 you make my heart shake, bend, and break

but I can't turn away

Sometimes, not knowing is way better than showering ourselves with unlimited amount of information.

Sometimes, self-restraining is just as important as going to school, working, getting things done.

Sometimes, swimming away from the flow doesn't mean you're rude, that you don't follow "norms". 

They simply mean you know what you need, you know what your weakness is, and you know how to make the best out of it.

This thing has long been my " itch ".

Instagram. Path. Especially the first one.

People post stuff, places they go, dates the have, kisses they give, gifts they get, party they attend, holiday they've dreamt of .

And those are good. Sharing stories. Sharing experiences they say.

At first it was all fun.

Then numbers start to matter. Picture's quality becomes priority. And poetic caption is compulsory.

My spare time was much spent looking through others' stack of photos.

It was okay, until I found myself comparing myself, my holiday, my university to others'.

It left me with envious feeling, and even worse ungratefulness for my life.

So I decided to uninstall those apps.

At first it was for my " happiness of quest " challenge.

Then it went long enough for me to just go without them.

I am not writing this to judge people. 

The feeling of writing real-life events is just one big of an achievement for me.

I'm able to reflect and see myself in a clearer mirror.

At the current time, I will open instagram in browser.

That is usually to see Kylie Janner's, Awkarin's, and missed friends' latest situation.

For most of the time, it will be reading Metagraf's post in Line , watching various videos in youtube, downloading new music from the browser.

And right now, if I'm having the thought to be active in instagram, I make quest to post things that goes with my blogging.

I'm planning on making this writing space my on-line room, decorate it in nicer and neater fashion. I'm showering this blog with gladysglados' colors.

xoxo,

Gladys.

I'm ch-ch-ch-ch cherry bomb!

Dear diary,
I feel sorry for myself.
For letting me feel so afraid and not knowing what I should do.
Truth be told, being in Medical Faculty is not always an up-in-the-air thing, so not that way.
But, if I had to turn over, I wouldn't know which way to go.
So, let me be a student who just constantly tries to figure out what she wants and doubtlessly loves to write.

Note : I'm happy that I finally managed to refresh the blog. :)
Good night all.
Happy living. :*

To Make My Own

Hei bloggies!
Sorry, I've been on a dormancy for like half a year.. :/

It's already june.
So many things I can't explain in my posts happened.
But, they don't really matter.
I figure they just were there to help me understand what I want, who I am, and how I want to reach them.

I'm about to take big turns.
To finally answer people with " BECAUSE I WANT IT."
To finally start doing what I love.
To finally be the man of my life.

People will surely judge,comment,or just simply not give a care.
They always do.

But for those people I love and concern about,

Let me do what I want.
You may think I make silly decissions.
But, I don't wanna regret not taking the chances just because people's opinions.
If it turns out to be hardship, just be there for me.

I want this.
And whatever comes after making this decission, I know I'm never alone.
There's nothing to fear of.

100 Songs

Hello fellas! :D
It'sMarch already!
How time flies!! :p

So, uhh today I got to spent my afternoon with my girlfriend/sister/bestfriend/soulmate, Almadea. ;)
These past 2 weeks have been chhheeraaaazzzyy,super busy weeks for all  Faculty of Dentistry students.
So, meeting with Dea today was like having a glass of pure water after a long run. :)


Me : "Jadi, kita udah mau tujuh tahunan lah ya De?"
Dea : "Iya juga ya..dari SMP.udah 6 setengah tahun lah.."
Me : "Langgeng ya kita. Aku udah siap ketemu keluargamu kok De!" ;)
         *genggam tangan Dea*

:D

Me : " Jadi ntar ada cake nya lah ya?"
Dea : " Ada lah kalau cake, tapi gak pake lilin kayak kau."
Me : " Hah?Kok gak pake lilin?"
Dea : " Emang semua orang suka niup lilin banyak-banyak kayak kau Dys?!" :p


#At our class
Uci : "Dys, tolong dulu ngomongnya jangan naik satu oktaf!!"
Tere : " Apa pulak satu oktaf, dua oktaf itu!"
Aku : " Emang aku kalau ngomong kek gitu ya wak?"
Tere : "Iya loh!! Sampek kalau kau sms, rasanya sms mu itu bersuara kayak kau!" 
          *niruin isi sms aku pake suara cempreng*
          "BRAII!!!! TERRRRR!! WAKK!!!"
Uci : "Iya udah kayak pesan multimedia tiap nerima sms kau Dys!Bersuara gitu!" 

                                                               ***

I think what I just learnt is that I just have to let it be. 

Last month, I spent too much time thinking and worrying about one thing, which actually is not that big deal.

And, at the end of the day, a good perspective is always necessary.

 :)

Flowers and Candles

Hi bloggies! :)

I'm currently having semester break. But next Monday I'll be back on track. :p

I really hope you all are having great time, and also it's February, month of love.

Enjoy yourself and have a wonderful Valentine's day with your family, boyfriend/girlfriend, bestfriends, your loved ones. :-)

Dear you, can I get new ones? Roses maybe? ;)

A two-way thing

Happy New Year my blog. :)

I hope this year will be a better, more prosperous year for all of us. :D

So, I know it's not exactly what I usually talk about in blog, but I feel like writing about it.

But,there's something I just realised because of this one movie, Don Jon.

Love is a two-way thing.
It can not and should not be one-sided.

Truth be told, most girls (may be included me) dream of a happily-ever-after-movie love story.

But the truth, there ain't no such thing as perfection, neither the individuals nor the process.

So, I guess it's best to understand that the person you are in a relationship with, is someone who definitely has differences from you.

And if you're willing to know him/her better, than try to understand and accept him/her the way he/she is.

And uh..about the movie,Don Jon, I'm not saying it's perfection.But I'm saying, may be you could watch it, and take some messages from it. And it's better for you to watch it if you're already 18 or above. :) 

Good night blog. 

Mr. Joseph Gordon-Levvit, actor-writer-director of don Jon. 

Moving On

HELLLOOOOOO MY BLOG!!!

I've missed you sooo much!!

Truth be told, it's midnight, and I just got home from church and my assingment isn't done yet. :P

Any way, today I spent my my time with doing the chores (like sweeping,moping,doing the washing ups).

And since, we do not have any domestic helper (now), I guess I'll be doing them for such longer time.  :D

Then, did some of the assignment and went out with Kak Abeth!!! :D

Aku : "Ntar kau pigi...aku sendirilah ya.."

Kak Abeth : "Gapapa lah. Penting aku pergi buat jadi lebih baik. Bukan jadi lebih       buruk."

"Dear my lovely sister/best-friend/love-consultant, I love you to the very end.
I know you're gonna be the best of you.
Things come and go, but the right ones always stay.
And you're gonna get what you've been praying for. :* :)  "

We went to Rumah Burger, I had burger (forget what it's name was), Kak Abeth had omelette, and Cia (yes, I brought her too XD ) had spaghetti. ;)

Enden up with me eating my food and half of Kak Abeth's omelette. XD

        ***  

Some things I learn today :

- When you start doing something with a bad intention, it'll never end up right.

   It may take a few months or even a year or even some years to realise that, but it surely will come up, the  'fruits' of your bad seed.

-  Everything will pass. 

Just like what Carrie said to Walt "It will wear out" .

The dissapointments, the heart-breaks, the anger, the resentments, the guilt, even the good stuff, they will pass. Each of them has its own timing. 

You make mistake, so what?! 

Who the hell doesn't make mistakes?!

You learn from those mistakes, and that's it. 

Nothing else.

- And, listen to that small voice inside your heart.

This may sound too melodramatic. But what the successful people say isn't just for a good talk.

Somehow, deep down, your heart already know what you want, what's right for you, and what to do.

Last Christmas at school doing a play, me and Betty as the "Tukang Mie Balap"

When I was doing "Gue Gak Mau Skul"

  

 

Cher Wish

Hello bloggies!

Sorry I had been 'gone' for more than 2 weeks.

College is just not the way most people think it is.

Or at least,that's how I feel about USU's dentistry.

So many assignments, going to the librabry to look for references, group projects, and plenos.

So yeah, next time I'm Missing In Action (MIA), you know who to blame. :P

Any way, we just celebrated Mom's 43th birthday.

It's nice to have birthday not so far from your loved one.

But even if it's far, it's still birthday- someone's best day of the year. :)

And yeah some pictures I took on September 15,before going to church. 
Night people!
Stay dreamy,stay hungry,stay foolish! ;)

 

 

 

 

    
                                                        

 

Next To Me

Dear my blog, I've been bad for abandoning you this whole time...I'm sorry.

Here's a story I wanna share, I hope that it'll be useful for may be my friends or whoever read it.

I have shared in my this post about what has been going on my personal life.
But I guess that post hasn't really sain everything out and put things on their places.

#in one of my conversations with Kak Abeth-my cousin
Her : "..you don't even wan't to be a doctor.That's what your mom tells you to be.You like fashion.."
Me : " I don't know.."

I spent time thinking about what I really love and what I wanna be doing for living and in my life.
For I'm not the kind of person who doesn't like people knowing what my 'real' problems are. I usually just ask Mom or Kak Abeth about them. Since my mom is not gonna give me other answers but "to be a doctor", so I had been avoiding her from talking about future plans,or in my case, university plans.

                                                                        ***

Since long time ago, being a doctor has been pledged in me. And unfortunately, I hadn't used the right portion of time knowing what I really want.

When I was on the tenth grade, we (my mom and I) thought going to University of Indonesia was the best for me. Until I was faced with the 'real' world of University of Indonesia. The reality that they set real high passing grade. And from the try-outs I've had, I still need about 20% more to pass it.

Then, the SNMPTN came. This enables  high school students to get in government's universities without exams, they'll just look at your academic results on school and the kind of non-acedemic achievements you have. So, on this selection, we (mom and I) decided to put University of Gadjah Mada (UGM) and University of Sumatera Utara (USU) as my choices. We're still waiting for the results which come out on the 28th of May.

Starting from early May, I'm on an intensive preparation program for SBMPTN, the written test to get in university. My course sets that every week we have try-outs.Until now, I have taken them for 3 times. But the third result hasn't come out. The fisrt and second were my consideration on choosing which university I'll go to if I don't pass the SNMPTN.

My passing grade has been just around 40s% , but UGM's medical school's passing grade is 56,07%. Still far. So I decided to consult with my mom about other universities that are much more 'reachable' for me.

Me : "Mak, lihatlah.Ini hasil try-out ku, trus ini daftar passing-grade yang baru."
Mom : "Iya.Kenapa?"
Me : "Passing gradeku cuman antara 40an aja, apa ga aku ambil aja Fakultas Kedokterannya Universitas Udayana, passing gradenya cuman 42%..."
Mom : " Udayana, di Bali itu kan. Mau ngapain kau di sana?! Biaya hidupnya mahal itu. Bagus kau ambil Riau, dekat. Ga sampek 24 jam kalok kau mau pulang ke Medan."
Me : "Ngapain aku di Riau?"
Mamak : "AH! Kau pikirlah Dys. Udah dewasa kau. Jangan ga bisa kau dikasih tau."

Well percakapan aslinya, somehow, lebih intense. But that is much of how it was.

That felt like a hard slap on my face.

"What is it now? 

Now that when I feel ok about going to a medical school, I can't go where I wanted."

I cried.
I thought of how these university things have got in my friends' nerves when it didn't really do the same with me ( that time). How I wondered why my friends needed to consult with Pak Malau (my former math teacher) about which majority to take.
How I thought it was somehow weird.

And now it came for me. Worse, I can't consult with Pak Malau now. There I was, alone in my bed, crying. Left me to no other choice but to pray. All I know, I fell asleep and I had a really odd but vivid dream. 

In my dream, I was in a church's area. 

And there was a man, he was old but not 'grandparents' old.

He was greeting all the congregants coming in the church.

I was sitting on a bench, when the old man came to me.
He asked me what was wrong that I didn't come straight in the chruch.

Then, I was telling him all my problems. I was shocked of how I was reacting to him. 

It freaked me out, for I'm not the type of person who talks to stanger about my problems.

But I have never been so open and sure about my problems, my feelings, my wants.

And the old guy was giving me the look that he FULLY understands all of them. He didn't even give me any sign of commentings or disagreements. 

I remember this part of our conversation :

Me : "Why do I have to make this decision? I'm just 17. I don't know what to choose..."
Him : " You're still a kid. You should talk to your mom about what you want."
Me : " She'll never understand."
Him : " Come on. Let's get inside. I'll help you."

Trust me, even until I wake up the next morning, I was still shocked.
How in world I had that dream?!
And moreever, how could I felt calm after what happened with mom.

Few days after that, I started to have some clear mind to really think about what happened and what my mom really meant. I finally realized that Mom's right. Although, I know for sure I don't wanna go to Riau.  But she's right about the life expenses in Bali and its distance from Medan.

It was Monday afternoon after I had my private learning, and I was sitting next to my Mom while she was watching some news, she said..

Mom : " Kalau kau ga lulus SNMPT, berati kau harus kerja keras lah ya Dys buat SBMPTNmu."
Aku : "Iya lah mak.."
Mom : "Ya udalah, buat aja lah pilihanmu USU, UDAYANA,sama RIAU."
Aku :  "..." #shocked What just my Mom said?! AM I HALUSINATING?!
Mom : " Kau maunya Udayana kan? Ambil ajalah itu sama Riau.."

WHAT IN ALL THE UNIVERSE JUST HAPPENED?!

What was I feeling at that very moment?!

I FELT SO HAPPY that I WANTED TO CRY. I can't make sense of it.
How after last Tuesday night, we had arguements about these, and now just 6 days after that, my mom changed her opinions.

Looking at it now,
I think that old man on my dream really did HELP me.
He helped my understand what I want.
And yes, he helped me talk to my Mom.


So, I AM going to a medical school. I really hope it'll be UGM.
I LOVE MAGAZINES.They're my text books.
I love entertainment world.
I love making reviews about new movies, TV series, Hollywood stars, new singles.
I love it.
I love dresses.A lot of them.
Although my mom still doesn't get it now, may be someday she will. :)

"When the skies are grey and all the doors are closing

and the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe

 well,all I need is a hand to stop the tears from falling

I will find him, will find him next to me"

By the way, this is my parents' party invitation :)