To all of you who read or accidentally stumble upon this post.
I was actually "out-of-date" about this news, until I watched Glee Season 3 on DVD. The story about Jamey Rodemeyer, a 14-year-old boy who committed suicide because of bullyings he got and the fact that no one actually took an action even after posting his It Gets Better video.
I'm not gay nor bi-sexual I'm writing this as my own calling after reading news about teens committing suicide because of bullyings.
No one deserves to be bullied for what they are, and neither do gays. All of us deserve the rights to live peacefully and feel secured. I know that there's no religion approves of gays (LGBT). But,I also know that, THERE ARE SOME THINGS that WE-HUMEN, can not solve nor understand. Because it's not ours to solve.Then stop trying! If you think forcing your 'idealism' will fix it, you're wrong! Just stop!Let everyone live their lives in their own ways. How many MORE teens will have to commit suicide until we take a stand?
Stop blaming the 'society'!WE ARE THE SOCIETY!Make the change now, starting from 'the man in the mirror', starting from myself, starting from ourself.
For the first time in my 17-year-life I took vitamin due to crying :0
well, that may be exaggerating a bit :p
But still I took vitamin today not because I got a fever or cold. (ga penting banget sih Dys!!-_-")
***
Any way, last month (December) I was so surprised,excited,happy (dalam bahasa Indonesia--> MENGGILAK KEGIRANGAN) when I found out that my all-time-favorite-singer, Adam Lambert was coming to Bali on 31th of December and to Jakarta on 10th of March.
My mom was okay to allow me see the concert on March for not only the price was(and still is) reasonable but also it'd be in Jakarta, but with one condition I was not going by myself but with a 'supervisor' or someone who I know and knows Jakarta well enough.
Like I said on my OLDER post, "I'm used to being asked and mocked for being a fan of Adam" that in other words means "IT IS HARD TO FIND ANOTHER GLAMBERT IN MY SOCIETY".
Since 2012 was a year of "unexpected new things" and "passion" , and this year is probably all about "hardwork", "making my calls" , "facing EXAMS" and "going to UNIVERSITY" , so I got a bit 'confused' like "am I sure I wanna be a doctor?" , "is this what I wanna do for the rest of my life?".
On the Family's Christmas Celebration, we ( my mom,dad,and I) got a bit intese talking about my future path.Long story short, I was told to think about it.
I took me about 2 days to really think what I want in my life.
If I was going to study English Literature or The International Relation at university, my opportunities would not be as many as if I was going to study Pre-Med.
And believe me, I still have that calling to be "The Next Desy Anwar" ;P
I still and will always love performing. And I promise myself, I'm gonna fulfill that dream and passion.
I just have a different start-line.
Until the new year's eve, this "Adam's Concert" , "passing exam" and "going to uni" were still on my nerves.
I still couldn't find any Glambert from Medan that was going to the concert and none of my school friends actually loves Adam that much that they want to see it too.
I was also struck to realise I hadn't prepared myself for National Exams nor The University Entrance Selection.
There I was, shocked and hopeless about all my plans.
I hadn't been spending much time praying that time, and I found myself helpless.
So on my new year's eve prayer, I litterally said :
"God, please let me meet Adam fo at least once. Let me see his concert. It's been 3 years of waiting, and now he's coming here, I just REALLY want to meet him. And God, I know that UI is a huge university, and the passing-grade is really high, but please help me get in. It'd be nice to have a better quality education and to make mom happy...."
I came to a 'smart' idea that If I can pass my try-outs and show Mom how much I've been working hard, maybe she'll let me go without the compulsary to find a supervisor-friend.
A week passed, still no sign of Glambert from Medan and no sign of Mom letting me go.
I was sooo tired for bringing too-many books on school's firdt day, and also the hot weather in Medan just made it worst.
So when I reached home and lie on my bed, I went straight to sleep (nap).
And, I donno why, whenI opened my eyes, all I felt was desperate.
''Can't you see it Dys?!THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE GONNA GO TO THAT CONCERT.THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE GONNA MEET ADAM LAMBERT. THAT'S JUST A DREAM. ALL OF IT. LUCK DOESN'T COME TO YOU!"
After that, I just (stupidly) started to CRY.
And the thing about me crying is when I cry, my eyes and lips will turn really reddish.
Until I decided to take a bath, I was still crying.
I sat and thought that all of my hopes were useless.
My lil-sister came up-stair and saw me with my reddish nose.
Cia : "Kau sakit ya kak?" / "You've got a cold?"
Me : "huh?"
Cia : " Matamu merah,hidungmu merah..." / "Your eyes and nose are reddish"
***
Mom : "Makan bodrex kalau flu.." /"Take some Bodrex if you've got flu"
me : #in my mind# wow I'm taking vitamin because I cried.What a year!
#sitting with Mom
Me : "So, say I find a friend to the concert, I'll still be not allowed to go?"
Mom : " Yes. You still can go Adam's concert next time, Kid. Hopefully, that's your luck. (we don't want) you to not graduate from high-school just beause that concert "
That time, I was imagining of a plane-missing-and-crashing accidents in Indonesia which are many.
May be deep down, I already knew this would come when I wrote my 2013 Wish-List yesterday....
this is the video I've been watching for times these past 3 nights ;)
btw, Happy 17th Birhtday to my dearest friend,Judika.
How about my Peresmian Logo. Peresmian Logo is a kind of tradition in my school, in case you don't know, Methodist-2 Medan.
Every senior class is "asked" to make their own class' name, their own class yelling. They will decorate one class and provide food for people who come to their class. And one more, they have to design their own class dress.
Then, on one specific day of December, our headmaster's gonna officially 'annouce' our classes' names.
So, ada banyak banget yang terjadi sebelum hari H.
You know, working with a bunch of people that come from different backgrounds,point of views, wants, needs- it really takes your tolerance.
Buat waktu" awal, aku emang gak terlalu ngurus tentang this Peresmian Logo thing.
My friends came with names, and it was informed to the whole class, then we'd do the voting.
Our first name was HETORIOUS.
It stood for "HEritage sTORIes Of US" . I liked it.But then we changed it for most of us didnt think it quite reflex our class.
Then one of my friends came with DISCO. Honestly, I had no idea about the name- its meanings,what it stood for- when I was first told about it.
It turned out that my class had this "class meeting" on Saturday 8 Sept, when I was absent for the first time in my High School history due to my cousin's wedding.
DISCO was the abbreviation of Developing Inside Super Creative Outside.
This time, it seemed like the right name for our class.
We had already planned our dress,our class' decor, our yelling songs.
Tapi, namanya takdir, it was middle of November, when Bapaknya Aniek a.k.a Pak Manurung, said that
" Ini tidak benar ini. Ini sesuatu yang buruk dipaksakan jadi baik.Ini ga bisa. DISCO itu kan identik dengan dunia malam. Gimana kalok orang nyambungkan 'tik' di belakangnya?! Jadinya DISCO-TIK!! Saya beri kalian waktu 1x24 jam untuk ganti nama kelas kalian"
Jujur, waktu itu aku sangaattt-amaattt-ammaattt-sangaaat MARAH!
Sampek-sampek aku sempat 1 harian rasanya pengen lempar gelas ke kantor BP sekolah kami yang super kolot cara berfikirnya!! Dea : "Marah kali kau ya?" Aku : "Iyah! Aku kesel kaliii...Bapak itu seenaknya aja masuk ke kelas kami dan tiba-tiba bilang kalok nama kelas kami ga layak! Emang dia pikir buat nama itu cuman 1 hari lansung jadi. Emang sih itu bukan ideku, tapi aku tau capeknya buat nyari nama itu! Aku ga suka kalok orang ga nge-hargain karya orang lain!!Arrrgghhh!!"
Hard time.
But we survived.
It was 3 or 4 days later, after asking for more time to think- we came with our REAL NAME.
CAMEO
It's not Spanish nor Italian. It's English.
If you look up the dictionary, it says that Cameo : /n/ 1. short part in a film or play for famous actor 2. short piece of descriptive writing 3. piece of jewellery with a raised design, usu of a head.
Our CAMEO is taken from the 3rd meaning.
And it stands for Camarederie in Melodramatic Sience One.
In Indonesian the whole meaning is Persahabatan yang Terukir di Kelas IPA 1 yang Spektakuler.
I like it.
I had those times when I felt mentally and physically exhausted.I had that 'errupting' moment...when I actually showed my anger... :p I had those calculating and thinking how we provide our food without taking too much money from our class saving. I had it all.
Our class
That's our Daddy Gee :)
Just a moment doing silly thing with my bro, Jonathan ;)
At the end , whatever happened on that day, that's it! None of us can turn back time and change thing that we think was not good enough.
And I had a moment where I got to see something that people may have been covering up. I dont always know what to do. But I know that sooner or later, what you try to hide is gonna come up and show itself.
I have so many things to write, to tell, to be gotten out of my
mind.
Life, these past 3 months, has been passing so damn fast.
There's always a long list of things to do. A lot of expectations
to be fulfilled.
And I just can't take it all by myself.
I'm scared. What if this thing I'm doing right now is leading me
to a worse situation?
And I feel like skipping
this part, but who do I think I am to skip time?!
***
Aku selalu suka dunia entertainment. I love the cycle of starship. I
love seeing new talents found. I love the spotlight. I love performing. I love
dancing like crazy to no music at all. I love my singing although I know I miss
on many notes :p . Writing to my, is like a dope. That even if I haven't used it for
a long time, I still crave for it. I find it easier to express my thoughts
through writings than speaking to people -who I know will sooner or later, in
front or behind my back- will critize me. I love every single song that i've been singing for countless
times. I'm always amazed by great people's stories. How they follow their
hearts, and hell yeah the roads have never been without pot-holes, but they
keep on going, keep on fighting, believing in themselves.I'm no jenius. I'm no powerful. I'm no politician, and I can never
see myself as one. I'm no sociallite. I'm no role-model. I make mistakes. My
naieve-nature has always brought me to a place I never expected. To heart-breaks,
dissapointment,and anger for many times.Sometimes, I wish I could let myself fantasize about things. About
living in a huge, looked-like palace house. About having a boyfriend like every
girl wants. About living somebody's life.But even if I close my eyes now, and asked to imagine the things I
wanna do.
I imagine myself wearing a beautiful little dress, a pair of
adorable strap-heels, talking to Adam Lambert on the red carpet. From there I
can see Paramore, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift and many others walking the carpet
and stop for some camera-time.
I find Desy Anwar's job -interviewing people with different
stories-, exciting.To actually talk and share thoughts with people who right
now I can only know from Wikipedia, people whom I think jenius, people with
passion and principles.
I dont blame my parents for "hoping" me to become a
doctor. I will do it for them. But I can never hide my passion and curiousity
to this world called “entertainment”.
Man!! Where have I been for the last 27 days that I didn't post anything on my own blog?! :O
Any way, ada banyak bangggeeett cerita I wanna share about..
butlet's start with the (ussual) STUPID things happened to me :
#di salon lagi di cuci rambutnya buat creambath
kakak" salon : "ini mau pake apa?" aku :#aku yang NOTA-BENE-nya GA PERNAH ke salon kecuali buat pesta (BATAK sekali :p), pangkas poni atau rambut,which FYI, I did months agooo... "ehmm...pake apa maksudnya?"
kakak" salon : "yah mau pake gingseng,lidah buaya, kopi, coklat, wartel,..." aku : #lansung nyambung"ouh..COKLAT aja!!" kakak" salon : "tapi kalok coklat itu MASKER bukan CREAMBATH.." aku : #BAHASA PLANET MANA LHAGI INIH?!! "emang apa bedanya masker sama creambath?" kakak" salon : "kalok masker 40rb..kalok creambath 30rb.." aku : #makin GA NGERTI... CARI JAWABAN PALING AMAN"erhh..kasih aja yang biasa MAMAKku pake..."
then...terputuskanlah aku creambath pake AVOCADO ;)
yeyeyeyey!!! Not bad...it smells GOOD, even until now :D
I also had a new hair cut. Not so much different from the last one. But it's much neatier now :)
*** I am not exactly a fan of Taylor Swift, but I like her new album, RED.
My recomended songs :I know you were trouble, 22, We are never ever getting back together, Stay stay stay, The last time, Everything has changed and The lucky one.
Yeah.. most of them are mix of country, pop, electro-pop, or in another word, NEW SIDE OF TAYLOR SWIFT ;)
***
Like the song. Fall for the MV.. ;)
My new addiction, True Blood ;)
Alexander Scargard :*
Prepare yourself, we're gonna have the PREMIERRE in only 16 days :)
Glados
Gladys
You guys should listen to The Script's Hall of Fame (highly recommended)
Good Night now peeps :)
have a sweet dream and sleep tight..
MY BLOOOGGG!!!!!! I misss you!!! I mIIIISSSS YOUU!!!!! I MISSSSS YOU!!! :*** These past couples of weeks have been CHERAAAAZZYYYY!!! So manyy up-coming events. This Friday and Saturday night, we'll perform our Gue Gak Mau School. I'm having Biology monthly exam this Saturday. GO Try Out tommorow...and frankly, I haven't prepared like ANYTHING!!!! :O We (all the M2 students) are working on ourn own class' name and logo..and IT'S NOT ALWAYS SMOOTH :p And i am part of the Farewell Party committee :p Sekedar info...aku (kena penyakit) kegatelan... #gaPENTINGbanget :p #lagi makan bareng B5 aku : "woi...keknya aku kena gatal-gatal lah..liat nih.." #nunjukkin lenganku yang banyak pulau-pulau merahnya amoy : #gaya dukun beranak "ehm...BIDURAN ini..." nova :"iyah..biduran itu..jangan kena angin lah..." One thing I learnt on last September,
"CRUSHING on someone is a wonderful feeling. It fills your heart with the spirit, you didn't realise you've got.It turns you into an optimistic one.It's nice.."
And truth be told, I loved it but right now, I'm too occupied with other things. And I know, the possibility of beeing broken-hearted (again) IS NOT WORTH at THIS MOMEMT.. ;)
My Figure for English Assignment ;)
Mom's birthday...it was actually her 42 B'Day, but I accidentally asked candles for 43 :p
#bangun pagi di kamar
glados : "HAPPY BIRHTDAY GLADYS OLIVIAA!!"
yeph..how pathetic :p
any way.. I was (a bit) sad for none of my B5 friends nor Dea came to the wedding party to celebrate my birthday :(
but it's over any way. There's nothing I can do to change it :p
but good points :
-I celebrated my birthday at 11 P.M at home with my relatives, for they stayed at my house that night
-for someone who just woke up and made her wish, aku rasa aku lumayan "sadar" waktu buat wish
" God, please help me to get in Universiy of Indonesia"
-I got presents from k'Abeth,B'Alex and his wife (cieeee). They are from GAUDI and I love it :p
So..I'm superr busy this week, gotta :
-finish writing students' montly raports identity :p
-Try Out GO on Thurtsday and TO Medica on saturday
-practising for Gue Gak Mau School play on Friday night and Sunday afternoon
-sleep
- NO playing
- NO watching
-practising keyboard
- finding new ideas for LOTTSSS of THINGS :P
