Hard-Boiled Egg Relationship 🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚

Hi all.

Happy Sunday. 

Udah lama banget aku pengen nulis tentang topik ini, tapi kemarin-kemarin aku belum benar-benar menjalankannya.

Jadi ga baik rasanya kalau aku ngomongin/nyaranin sesuatu yg aku belum coba atau belum lakukan.

I call it "Hard Boiled Egg Relationship Analogy".

Dulu awal banget masuk FK, aku ga terlalu ngerti how to know if someone's really my friend, and not just an acquaintance.

Berlanjut sampai di tahap I was giving my time, effort, and stuff to someone because I consider her/him my friend.

But she/he didn't actually consider me as one. 

Berkali-kali aku bilang ke diriku untuk ga ngarapin apa-apa dari pertemanan dengan siapa pun.

Sampai akhirnya aku sadar, it wasn't me 'mengharapkan apa-apa', tapi hubungan itu emang bukan pertemanan, ga ada mutual-respect, mutual-need, mutual-bond di situ.

Dari situ aku sadar kalau banyak dari yang aku anggap teman, sebenarnya adalah kolega (mengutip bahasa Bang Pattih), atau kenalan.

Waktu pertama kali aku dengar itu dari Bang Pattih, aku agak gak setuju (dalam hati), karna aku pikir it was a bit rude.

Tapi pas aku udah mau selesai coass (kayak di siklus ke 10/11), aku baru teringat lagi kata itu, dan aku jadi ngerti maksudnya. 

So now that I have better 'relational priority', I can focus my energy, time, money, and effort to the ones who will also undoubtedly put their energy, time, money, and effort on me. 

This way, the most important people in my life get the best version of me, cuz' I ain't wasting any part of me on those who don't really play significant part in it.

Jadi, kalau dijadiin ke analogi telur rebus ni, kita tu punya :

1. CANGKANG

Yang mungkin kadang masih ada kotorannya nempel atau ditulisin spidol/cat warna-warni kayak telor Paskah.

Ini bagian yang semua orang yang kenal kamu lihat.

Siapa aja yang tau nama kamu, pernah kerja bareng kamu, pernah lihat kamu, pernah dengar berita/ pernah ngomongin kamu, follow IG kamu, atau Twitter, atau Facebook, atau apa pun.

Siapa aja yang tau kamu.

Mereka cuman lihat kamu yang dari luar.

If something 'bad' happens to you (dimana sangat mungkin terjadi, cuz' that's just the way life is) they will 'see' that.

Atau kalau kamu cukup pintar dan lihai mempermak 'cangkang' kamu, mau dicat, dipoles pake manik-manik, atau gincu, atau apa pun, ya itu juga yang orang lihat.

Karna cangkang cuman apa yang orang luar lihat.
Apa yang kolega lihat dan 'tau'.
Atau apa yang kamu dengan 'lihai' banget tampilkan. 

2. PUTIH TELUR

Ini golongan orang yang (dalam analogi aku) aku izinkan masuk lebih dalam.

Orang-orang yang bukan sekedar berhubungan karna 'punya kerjaan yang sama', atau 

'ditugaskan bersama', atau 'udah kenal lama'.

Karna kadang, lamanya kita kenal seseorang, ga menjamin kita punya 'ikatan-pertemanan' dengan dia.

Ikantan di sini gampangnya dijelasin pakai kata 'saling'.
Pertemanan yang emang ada saling menghargai, saling membutuhkan, saling membantu, saling melindungi. 

I preferably call them temen deket.

3. KUNING TELUR

Menurut aku ini yang paling penting.

(Walaupun biasanya di telur asli, aku ga pernah ngabisin bagian ini, untuk membatasi asupan kolesterol harian) #GaPentingBanget 

Kuning telur di analogi ini adalah sahabat dan keluarga inti. 

Sahabat di sini adalah orang-orang yang emang udah tau kamu setaik-taiknya kamu. 

(Don't you dare bilang "Aku ga punya sifat taik, aku selalu baik." 

 Berarti MUNAFIK lah sifat taik kau. #JustSaying) 

Ini pake logat Medan ya...

jadi jangan tersinggung, ga bermaksud kasar...cuman mau bikin sadar. ☺☺☺

Sahabat, orang yang kamu 'secara sadar' mempercayakan cerita yang ga pernah kamu ceritain ke siapa pun, perasaan terdalam (kecewa, amarah, terluka, dll) yang ga pernah sanggup kamu sampaikan ke siapa pun, mimpi-mimpi dan harapan terdalam kamu, you know those wild dreams of yours. 👀😜

Orang yang kalau Amsal bilangnya 'sahabat karib itu kelurga tak sedarah'.

Kenapa kamu butuh kuning telur atau sahabat? 

Karna kita,manusia, gampang banget berubahnya.  

Dikasih enak dikit, (lebih) terkenal dikit, kaya dikit, (lebih) pinter, (merasa lebih) ganteng/cantik dikit, kita (manusia) suka lupa asal. 

Atau kalau kita lagi ditimpa masalah,kita merasa ga berharga, ga punya harapan, merasa ga berguna, ga ada tujuan hidup lagi. 

Nah orang-orang yang kamu izinkan jadi kuning telur kamu ini, karna you've let them see who you really are deeeeeeeeep inside, terlepas dari situasi yang lagi kamu alami, mereka bisa tarik kamu lagi, ingetin kamu lagi ke your true self.

Jadi mereka yang bakal bisa bilang "Ga gitu caranya." "Kau salah di situ." atau "Jangan gitu!" "Lu kok berubah sih..." dan lain-lain lah ya.

Atau pas kamu lagi down banget, mereka yang bakal "Ayo...Kamu pasti bisa." "Gue tau lu mampu." dan lain-lain, banyak lagi lah ya modelnya..(Aku tau kau ngerti...ko kan pintar.)

Bahkan mereka ga cuman bakal say it with their words, tapi juga show it with their actions.

Ga masalah mau punya banyak temen baik. 

(Atasannya kolega dikit, ini selaput putih pembungkus sebelum kamu dapat putih telur, kalau kau ga tau berarti kau ga pernah ngupas telor rebus),

Ga masalah punya banyak temen dekat. 

Tapi aku pribadi ga yakin dengan punya banyak sahabat.

Either how you select them is a bit messy, atau emang sama-sama belum menunjukkan yang sebenar-benarnya aslinya aja. 

Udah segitu aja wee...aku mau tidur.

Be kind to everyone.
Share the truth with your close ones.
Show who you really are with 'the ones'.

P.S. Hari Minggu depan Easter, YAY!!

Bakal makan telor rebus 🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚

(call me traditional, but I like it like that)

And we'll have a feast.

🍝🍛🍕🍔🍷🎂

I honestly like Easter so much.

Set Focus

Hi y'all!!

How's your self-quarantine doing?

Or how's your physical-distancing going?

I do hope you're doing well, both physically and mentally.

Cuz' I know how everyday seems like another day filled with uncertainty and worry and anxiety.

And it's very normal to feel like that in this kind of situation, a pandemic, a social-political-financial disruption.

Not to belittle the situation, but in the midst of all of these, it's best to have set focus.

Set focus on things that we can hold on and things we can control.

So, even though the world is spinning around so many aspects, but setting our focus on one thing will help us to not get overwhelmed by the surroundings.

In my personal preference, I choose to set my focus on The Word, spending more time with Him.

That is why I don't share a lot of COVID-19 news or information.

Because I believe the news and televisions, and Whatsapp chat-groups already cover that.

It's better to set different tone in the midst of the chaos.

It doesn't mean that I don't read any of them, it just means that I choose what I wanna share, and critically appraise what I read.

Second is the things you can control.

For instances, how you spend your time, the activities you're doing in your quarantine, the books you read, the people you choose to contact and catch-up with.

Those are the things within our control.

This lately, I've been cooking regularly, and usually not only for me, but also my quarantine-buddy.

Cuz' I don't live at my own room anymore, I  stay at friend's.

That cooking involve going to the traditional mart and cleaning the groceries and cooking.

I've made tofu-soup, KFC-dipped rice, tempe kecap (ga tau apa bahasa Inggrisnya, hahahha 😂), a lot of olahan sayur, nasi goreng, ayam bumbu (which makes me feel like I'm home).

AND A WHOLE LOT OF NOODLES. 💕🍜🍝🍜

I've realised I like eating noodles a lot better than rice.

Karna lebih gampang dikunyah dan ditelan. #SekianDanTerimaKasih ahahhahaha 😇🙏

And I'm planning on making ayam sambel (I luuvvv), tempe-tahu sambel, ayam bumbu goreng, dan ubi ungu aku, yang belum aku tentuin mau direbus atau dipanggang aja. #MyKindOfConfusionThisLately. 

And my quarantine-buddy and I plan to have a dinner-date one day.

It's when we dress up, put some make-up on to have dinner at home.

It's really just to help both of us freshen up.

Belum tau juga bakal masak/makan apa...

Or should we make that hyper-hyped dalgona coffee?  

ahahahahha...

let's see lah.

Any way, 

Happy April 1st.  

It's not any special date or anything, it's just a reminder that we've gone through three months of 2020. 

And although the condition is uncertain, but always keep hope as a companion.

Cooking this makes me feel like I'm home karna Mamak biasanya buat ini.

The only picture of me taken this lately 👅

And ughhh...I finally made my own TikTok.

LOL.

It's one of many ways to kill time and get physical. 🙏🙆🙌

 Dari Cewek untuk Cewek 💁😂💕

A L E P H

Hi everyone.

I do hope you're doing well in the midst of this pandemic situation.

My own self-quarantine has been going pretty well, I find a way to be productive (aka having fun ngebacot di status WA), and literally just sleeping in and forgetting time. LOL

But, I'm working on it, to be more productive at this very situation.

It's already 7 days of self-quarantine and 14 days of Easter's praying and fasting.

It was jam-jam terberat, which is jam 3-6 sore, and I found myself fighting so hard untuk stay faithful and motivated in this fasting.

At that time, I also realised how uncertainty and anxiety are surounding all aspects of our life, especially with current condition.

In my personal life, the uncertainty of final exam, which also means uncertainty of graduation, uncertainty of when I'll be truly free to leave Padang, for good.

At the other hand, the fact that I am very certain I can't go home, although I'm dying wanting to.

For if I go back home and there's possibility of locking down in Medan, I might not be able to go back to Padang, to take care of my administration stuff or even take the final exam.

 
Tapi, mungkin ini yang jadi pelajaran dari pandemik ini.
To have faith and peace in the midst of uncertainty and anxiety storms.
Juga untuk menyadari hal-hal yang emang paling penting dalam hidup, like taking care of yourself, your family, and closed ones.

Nadrah and I have agreed on this, that part of being an adult is having your ‘introvert’ side having its growth-spurt.

By that, we mean, enjoying ‘some amount of time’ having people around you and really cherishing and feeling recharged on your alone-time.

That doesn’t mean that you don’t like people.

It just means that in order to be fully functioning, you need to have both sides balanced.

And for my fasting ‘challenge’, I figure I should set my focus right.

Untuk ga berpikir I’m fasting just for the sake of fasting, atau for the sake of ‘ritual agama’.

But to set my focus on who I’m aiming to get to know better from this prayer and fasting, which is HIM.

I know this sounds super weird to some people, but I’ve learnt to live with disapprovals or frowns from others, and know who my people are, and what my purposes are.

Any way,

Have a good night.

Sleep tight.

💕💫🙏

   

.

At MY OWN P(e)ACE

Nayas : " Lu gimana biasanya kalau nulis blog? Kayak lu buat draft dulu gitu?"
Me      : " Ehm...enggak...biasanya dia cuman kayak burst of ideas muncul tentang 'tema' atau 'judul' yang mau gua tulis, trus baru gua tulis...trus post... Tapi ya itu, suka ada typo-nya.... tapi ya abis post w biasanya baca ulang dan edit lagi."
Nayas : "Iya tu si typo.."

#SelfAsessmentGameStrong ahahahhaha  😂😂😂

***

Hello everyone.
Februari ga kerasa banget lewatnya, saat Januari felt like a whole-year long. 😩

One of the important things I learn take more seriously after the first 2 months of 2020 is to do things at my own pace, for my own peace.
This one gets even more important in the midst of all this final-exam (UKMPPD) preparation.
To know that it's okay to not have the same study rhytm as other friends'.
To know the best study-time for myself.
To set my own goal that doesn't cost me my own peace.

Second thing is really (again) to savour the very moment more.
I mean appreciate this very moment by taking what it serves me sincerely.
Kalau dalam bahasa Mama, "Kalau lagi ada ya nikmati. kalau lagi enggak ada, ya juga nikmati."

The lost of Kobe & Gianna Bryant, and Ashraf Sinclair reminds us that all we have is now.
And to use it wisely, to make good memories, and to leave great legacy is how we appreciate it. 

Dan kalau pun yang ada sekarang terasa sulit untuk dinikmati, atau terasa berat untuk dijalani, atau ga senyaman dan enggak semenyenangkan yang kita harapkan, jalanin aja.
Nanti bakal ada indahnya.
Dan semua yang ga enak itu bakal bikin saat yang indah terasa makin berharga dan buat kita jadi lebih mampu menghargainya. 💞💋

when them ideas come, gotta write 'em down, kapan nulisnya masalah nanti.

kon· vér· sa· syon 💕

me : "Jadi aku mutusin untuk ga pergi ke situ lagi."

Oli : "Why so sudden?"

me : "It's not so sudden, actually. Aku udah mikirin ini dari acara natalan kita kemarin. It's not like I suddenly condemn it, it's just...."

Oli : "What good can come out of place like that."

me : #Amazed cuz' she just read my mind 💖

***

As I take more care on myself, and by that, also taking 'real conscious' care on what I do, what I choose, and what I let people do to me, my reaction on some stuff also changes, that includes my view on things, how I conduct myself.

And I think most of it is due to :

1. I have a mother who fully supports, loves, and accepts me.

She lets me explore my choices, and helps me navigate through them, even if my choice is actually not "fully approved" by her.

That way, I learn to make better choices for me.

2. Really just what I let get inside of my head, this includes music I listen to, youtube I watch, or even conversation I have with others.

Bacause really our doing is just a reflection of what we believe in, what we beieve in is the reflection of what we hear, watch, and put inside ourselves.

so yeah..

have better, more stimulating, and nurturing conversation.

S A V O R I N G 💫

Konnichiwa 
#EfekDipanggilGeradiseu

Hmm... about some days ago, I got some flashbacks and ephipanies.

It was around October when Mai was about to leave for good for her internship and just some time after that Oli  had to go back to Papua due to some reasons.

I remember telling Mai at that time : 

"Mai, aku takutlah kalau kam pergi iship.
Aku takut aku jatuh lagi"

Now, as I'm reaching the end point of my medical school life, to be precise my clinical term, I realise that :

Nothing lasts forever,
so savor every moment of it.

Savoring the happy part of it is easy, but to be able to also savor the pain, the hurt, the challenges life throws in your way, that's the real stuff.

"Aku ga mau sedih ngingat kenyataan kalau kita ga sama-sama lagi sekarang Mai, secara fisik.

Aku ga mau itu mencuri kebahagiaan dan rasa syukurku buat apa yang udah kita lewati bersama"

"Jadi, kalau sekarang aku lagi bisa sama-sama Oli di siklus ini, aku mensyukurinya, 

gimanapun keadaannya.

 Kalau sekarang aku lagi sibuk belajar sama tim UKMPPD-ku, aku juga mensyukurinya. 

Karna aku tahu ga bakal selamanya kayak gini. 

Jadi aku harus ngejalanin yang ada sekarang dengan sebaik-baiknya, 

jadi ga akan nimbulin kecewa di waktu depan."

***

I realised one of the biggest mistakes I made was rushing things.

Doing things when it wasn't the right time to do it, not waiting on God's timing, rushing to 'get things done' but not savoring bit by bit of the moment.

At the end, I ended up losing, more than what I think I'd gained.

It's like getting a whole cake, and because you are too excited, you eat the whole cake in one moment. 

At the end it leaves you with a stomach ache,and you barely remember the real taste of it. 

You missed the texture and the moisture of the cake,the chewy, soft caramel sauce. 

Instead you only can say "It tasted sweet.", 

or worse 'it tasted good."

***

So, although at the moment I'm still figuring out how to manage my time, with this last clinical rotation exams, UKMPPD preparation/ group-studying, disrupted sleep-schedule, coping with the stress in a good way that won't hurt me nor people around me, playing with missed friends, and doing devotional time intentionally and wholeheartedly, I will remind myself to savor every bit of the moment of this time, to live more in the moment, to only have  "today's trouble for today."

sebvvah konten persembahan 

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thank u, next 💋

January has passed.
And I just couldn't wait for it to pass.
Like, January 2020 just felt like a whole lot of everything.

I don't know about you.
But for me, it felt like that.
In personal life, study life, all the world's news.
Just a whole lot.

So as we are entering February 2020, I'd like to send a prayer to Abba.

"Abba, thank you for January.
Though I felt like I was beaten up by confusion and anxiety, I learnt what kind of person I really am.

Almost all of us are shocked and saddened by the lost of Kobe and Gigi Bryant, but that thought us the gift we have been receiving but haven't really appreciated enough, which is our family coming back home safe to us.

Although, the world is dying with weapons and missiles, and even new virus' outbreaks, I pray that You still put hope and calling in Your Children to bring peace, change, and hopes to others.

And...although I don't know what's coming in the future, please hold me and strengthen me in this journey.

I pray that You always bless all my friends....my beloved friends who kindly accept me.

And I thank You for giving me Bapak-Mamak-Cia, bestfriends, close friends, colleagues, even for every expired relationship, friendship, and even dark feeling that I had, I sincerely thank You and praise You, for I grew through each one of those.

Abba, please remind me of Your Grace and hold me in doing my calling. 🙏🏼💞🌄