S A V O R I N G 💫

Konnichiwa 
#EfekDipanggilGeradiseu

Hmm... about some days ago, I got some flashbacks and ephipanies.

It was around October when Mai was about to leave for good for her internship and just some time after that Oli  had to go back to Papua due to some reasons.

I remember telling Mai at that time : 

"Mai, aku takutlah kalau kam pergi iship.
Aku takut aku jatuh lagi"

Now, as I'm reaching the end point of my medical school life, to be precise my clinical term, I realise that :

Nothing lasts forever,
so savor every moment of it.

Savoring the happy part of it is easy, but to be able to also savor the pain, the hurt, the challenges life throws in your way, that's the real stuff.

"Aku ga mau sedih ngingat kenyataan kalau kita ga sama-sama lagi sekarang Mai, secara fisik.

Aku ga mau itu mencuri kebahagiaan dan rasa syukurku buat apa yang udah kita lewati bersama"

"Jadi, kalau sekarang aku lagi bisa sama-sama Oli di siklus ini, aku mensyukurinya, 

gimanapun keadaannya.

 Kalau sekarang aku lagi sibuk belajar sama tim UKMPPD-ku, aku juga mensyukurinya. 

Karna aku tahu ga bakal selamanya kayak gini. 

Jadi aku harus ngejalanin yang ada sekarang dengan sebaik-baiknya, 

jadi ga akan nimbulin kecewa di waktu depan."

***

I realised one of the biggest mistakes I made was rushing things.

Doing things when it wasn't the right time to do it, not waiting on God's timing, rushing to 'get things done' but not savoring bit by bit of the moment.

At the end, I ended up losing, more than what I think I'd gained.

It's like getting a whole cake, and because you are too excited, you eat the whole cake in one moment. 

At the end it leaves you with a stomach ache,and you barely remember the real taste of it. 

You missed the texture and the moisture of the cake,the chewy, soft caramel sauce. 

Instead you only can say "It tasted sweet.", 

or worse 'it tasted good."

***

So, although at the moment I'm still figuring out how to manage my time, with this last clinical rotation exams, UKMPPD preparation/ group-studying, disrupted sleep-schedule, coping with the stress in a good way that won't hurt me nor people around me, playing with missed friends, and doing devotional time intentionally and wholeheartedly, I will remind myself to savor every bit of the moment of this time, to live more in the moment, to only have  "today's trouble for today."

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