HOLLER at YA GIRL [The Series]

hi y'all.
I hope you're doing amazing...in whatever your situation right now.


These past two weeks, I've been having the urge to write this post.
It's just I was busy finishing my case presentation and all my exam preparation.
Now that tomorrow is the last day of Pediatric Department, I get to write my thoughts.

***

So...
It's almost one year of me being single.
And there's just these things I get to learn along the way.

> TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF <

Nadrah : "Lu ga pernah enjoy pergi sendirian?!!"
Me : " No...."
Nadrah : "Sebelum lu pacaran juga?"
Me : " Yeah....bahkan sebelum w pacaran pertama kali.."

This is literally Nadrah's shocked reaction when I told her that it surprised me that I enjoyed my time going to the mall alone, like not rushing anything, just wear my comfy outfits, walk around the mall, see cute things, buy my 'girly' needs wants, sit down at a cafe alone, and enjoy my avocado chocolate drink and donuts.

I used to be so 'anxious' about going out...that even when I went with my partner,
I didn't enjoy the surroundings, I was just there...like not enjoying...just there...
I was anxious in a way that I didn't pay attention...like I did't see nor feel my surrounding....
It was just me going out with my partner...and talk...about a lof of stuff...but I just didn't 'connect' with my environment. 
(I hope you get what I mean..soalnya ini perasaan yang agak sulit untuk diterangin)


Looking back at it now, I think that's why I was so bored and stressed eventhough I went out with my partner a lot.

And it wasn't any of their problems.
They were good partners (at that time for me) (although gua cuman pernah pacaran 2 kali...✌  #peace)

It was me, haven't figured out things with myself.
It was me putting a lot of trust which next leads to unrealistic hopes towards my partner, hoping that 'the one' will make me enjoy me...like accept me...which will never happen, boo! 

Because, as much, and as deep, and as pure as someone can love you,
you gotta go deep inside yourself, be honest to yourself,
confront your own traumas, your own hurt, your own pain,
and fix them.. so you can start living and loving youself and other people the right way.

And this process ga akan pernah bisa cuman take some days, atau minggu...karna segala emotional baggage yang kamu simpan betahun-tahun ga akan resolve dalam seminggu kamu start reading self-development books...or denger lagu rohani atau kotbah dari siapa pun.  

                                                    It    will     take     time.  

And sebenernya, setiap orang punya emotional baggage yang perlu dia confront sendiri. Mungkin punya kamu ga sama kayak aku. In your case it might be kekecewaan sama orang tua kamu, rasa cemburu sama saudara kamu sendiri, atau rasa ingin selalu jadi nomor #1 kalau enggak kamu ngerasa gagal (case anak FK banget #SomethingJustGotBurnt 😄) , your sexuality, atau apa pun, karna banyak banget case-nya.  (and don't you start lying about this  ✌) 

EVERYONE IS JUST AS CRAZY AS YOU ARE, JUST IN DIFFERENT MATTER 

#wink 😉😜

by saying 'time' I mean 'all the time' yourself need to heal.
ga ada takarannya berapa lama...but if you're so committed in understanding you, you will get the most priceless gift anyone can give themselves. 
And emang...such things, kayak emotional or childhood traumas, ga akan pernah bisa beres cuman dengan usaha kita sendiri..
Harus ada pembaharuan hubungan dengan orang yang memang benar-benar mengerti kamu, 

Pencipta kamu.

Relationship with Your Creator like never before.

Apa pun agama kamu...atau kepercayaan kamu.
I've seen kalau orang yang truely have good connection with The Almighty, you simply see them shine... like penuh berkah 'aja' hidupnya...bukan cuman ke dia...tapi orang-orang sekitar dia.

Karna apa pun yang kamu pour ke sekitar kamu (in your work, friendship, hidup kamu sehari-hari), it's just reflection of what you're pouring yourself with.

Jadi kalau kamu seringan see and talk about 'the bad' of other people,
honey, do yourself a favor, fix it, fix you.

P.S.
Ini dulu buat sekarang...
Imma make "Holler at Ya Girl"  as my blog series,
where I talk about stuff yang menurut aku bakal bisa ngebantu banyak orang banget.
Karna sebenernya poinnya ada beberapa...cuman untuk sekarang ini aja dulu.

***

To holler at someone means to see each other, to talk over.

(https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=holler%20at)
#EBM #ExperienceBasedMethod


So yeah... holler at ya girl....holler at me.

xoxo

Edys