Wednesday, June 20, 2018
Sunday, June 10, 2018
The thing 'bout loneliness
Hello everyone!
Happy Sunday.
I hope ya'all having
great time. ๐๐
I didn't know many
people working as doctors or were a medical student at the time I was about to
make the decision to take the test.
Now, the thing
is.... medical student is already another thing, clinical student is way
up-in-the-sky level of another thing.
I'm in my second
cycle now, Forensic, which also means I am the town prisoner, since I can not
go outta town, for in case there's a sudden unusual death, we're having dead body
physical examination, like anytime the case comes.
Be it midnight, be
it at dawn. you gotta get to the hospital, or you'll fail.
It's that simple. ๐ณ๐
I don't know if it's
just me or may be the other anak coass ( clinical students ) have ever felt
this way.
Clinical term makes
you interact with so many people, the patients, your lecturers (the doctors,
consultants), the doctors doing their residency, the nurses, the staff, the
other health-related students, your clinical friends.
The consistency of
this meeting takes almost 9 to 12 hours, it even can be up to 36 hours if you're having
the night shift, makes you feel like you are never alone, like you're surrounded by
that many people, so lonely was not exactly something you'll feel when you're
at the hospital.
Then you finish your
shift, it's time to come home.
Now you're
alone....and at my experience I was lonely.
Like, in clinical
term, you and your friends won't have the same schedule...so don't expect much
on having your friends come or having day/night out.
Jo is back in
Jakarta. Ulfa is in Medan. Since, they still haven't started their clinical
term.
Mai was having
different schedules. Oli was not available.
It was so
lonely...that I just cried....
Like "man....I didn't
know it was gonna be this up-side-down in coass (clinical term)."
Second, all the
people I mentioned above, the people you meet in the hospital, the are people
with emotions, with different backgrounds, different views, different ways of
reacting.
Don't be surprised
when you just started your day feeling good..and you by any chance, got nagged,
or complained. or nicely speaking, negatively fedback by those people.
That is the thing.
That what clinical
term in human medicine looks like, but somehow, you still feel grateful cuz'
these experiences enriched you.
But, I totally get
it now, why there are medical workers (esp. recidency doctors) commit suicide.
Their working hour
is 100 times higher than mine, so is the expectation they carry, the emotions
the feel.
So...I will always
say this to anyone telling and asking my opinions on him/her becoming a medical
students,
"My friends, it's a whole different world here. If you want it just for your parents, or anyone but you, leave it. There are other things greater than becoming a doctor. Trust me."
Meanwhile, I am
handling the loneliness nicely.... #hopefully No..I mean it ๐๐
It's just since when
I had that darkest time, no one was around, so right now I want it to stay that
way.
Just let me be alone
right now...figuring out how to feel towards these....towards my closest ones
weren't there when I needed the most.
I know it seems rude...like shutting the doors for people...but I need that in mean time...
Too mush
disappoitment in friendship right now....in having good time together but gone
missing when needed...
I guess loneliness
can do some good when we are accepting it...just the way it is.
May be that way we
can appreciate our company better in the future.
If you have a word or experience the same or anything in your clinical term...feel free to share, in comments, in twitter, emai, or FB...
I would really love to hear others' stories.
XoXo
Gladys Olivia
Sunday, May 20, 2018
When ZAYN turns into MICHAEL BOLTON
HEEELLLLLLOOOOOO ALLL!!
I think it's old story to say sorry for not posting anything..so long story short I've been doing great.
I am already in my clinical term now, to be precised, I'm in my second cycle - outta 15 departments I have to learn skills and knowledge from- which is Forensic. ๐ฎ๐ง
And also I made great memories in my 2 and a half month school-day-OFF....ahahhaha... I finally went to DUFAN (like I've been dreaming of it since forever ๐๐) and I also went to Bali and took as(s)thetic pics with Dea, but considering the local value, culture, and customs where I am right now, I choose to not post them now, but wait till I finish everything and fly back home. ๐๐ฏ๐
You know i don't really like talking 'bout relationship in my blog nor FB nor the gram...I just don't want people minding my business too much. I think it's nice if people only know what I let them know, which are merely the surface.
Well, I'm 22 now...and the thought of a more serious relationship is on the board. And though sometimes I think it's distracting me from the main purpose - getting an MD degree, it is still important.
But since becoming a doctor is a long process and there's still a looonggg-lyfe learning waiting after that, so setting the focus and energy right is a mandatory.
And I think it's wonderful to create the life we've been dreaming of since we're young, like start it from now when the energy is at its highest point, when we still don't have 'social' obligatory to take care of the house, cook for the family, so on and so on.
I'm not saying I am not those kind of woman, I am. My mom is my main role-model for getting it all together, get her job done, dreams chased, family taken care of ( home-made food, grocery shopping, every part of a housewife's task )
And there's more in life when we are able to create greatness and goodness in it. And you can only do that when basic life needs are met, like food,clothes, and safety. I am not talking about the amount of money you have, I'm talking about being impactful and also helpful to others. Like you can't help others if you can't even help yourself, if you still hanging to somebody else, if you're still a mess.
Luckily Jo has been so supportive with all my dreams and projects.
And moreover, Mom is the best example and supporter and sponsor. ๐๐
So I think we're gonna take another 4/5 years working our own dreams 'together' to set the base of our home strong, so it can be a home that's full of love and support for everyone in it and send warmth to the surroundings.
WHOOO DIZZZ?? ๐๐๐ |
My bestfriend/cousin/sister GOT MERRIED ๐ |
YAPH..she grew up... ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ต |
no normal pose, please! |
BTW....I guess breaking up with Gigi was (or is it still "is"?) a big hit-in-the-face for Zayn that it changed his usual music to MICHAEL-BOLTON-kind-of music. ๐๐๐
But I like this song though, since I'm a hopeless romantic in private. ๐๐๐
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