Hello everyone!
Happy Sunday.
I hope ya'all having
great time. 💕💕
I didn't know many
people working as doctors or were a medical student at the time I was about to
make the decision to take the test.
Now, the thing
is.... medical student is already another thing, clinical student is way
up-in-the-sky level of another thing.
I'm in my second
cycle now, Forensic, which also means I am the town prisoner, since I can not
go outta town, for in case there's a sudden unusual death, we're having dead body
physical examination, like anytime the case comes.
Be it midnight, be
it at dawn. you gotta get to the hospital, or you'll fail.
It's that simple. 😳😎
I don't know if it's
just me or may be the other anak coass ( clinical students ) have ever felt
this way.
Clinical term makes
you interact with so many people, the patients, your lecturers (the doctors,
consultants), the doctors doing their residency, the nurses, the staff, the
other health-related students, your clinical friends.
The consistency of
this meeting takes almost 9 to 12 hours, it even can be up to 36 hours if you're having
the night shift, makes you feel like you are never alone, like you're surrounded by
that many people, so lonely was not exactly something you'll feel when you're
at the hospital.
Then you finish your
shift, it's time to come home.
Now you're
alone....and at my experience I was lonely.
Like, in clinical
term, you and your friends won't have the same schedule...so don't expect much
on having your friends come or having day/night out.
Jo is back in
Jakarta. Ulfa is in Medan. Since, they still haven't started their clinical
term.
Mai was having
different schedules. Oli was not available.
It was so
lonely...that I just cried....
Like "man....I didn't
know it was gonna be this up-side-down in coass (clinical term)."
Second, all the
people I mentioned above, the people you meet in the hospital, the are people
with emotions, with different backgrounds, different views, different ways of
reacting.
Don't be surprised
when you just started your day feeling good..and you by any chance, got nagged,
or complained. or nicely speaking, negatively fedback by those people.
That is the thing.
That what clinical
term in human medicine looks like, but somehow, you still feel grateful cuz'
these experiences enriched you.
But, I totally get
it now, why there are medical workers (esp. recidency doctors) commit suicide.
Their working hour
is 100 times higher than mine, so is the expectation they carry, the emotions
the feel.
So...I will always
say this to anyone telling and asking my opinions on him/her becoming a medical
students,
"My friends, it's a whole different world here. If you want it just for your parents, or anyone but you, leave it. There are other things greater than becoming a doctor. Trust me."
Meanwhile, I am
handling the loneliness nicely.... #hopefully No..I mean it 😂😄
It's just since when
I had that darkest time, no one was around, so right now I want it to stay that
way.
Just let me be alone
right now...figuring out how to feel towards these....towards my closest ones
weren't there when I needed the most.
I know it seems rude...like shutting the doors for people...but I need that in mean time...
Too mush
disappoitment in friendship right now....in having good time together but gone
missing when needed...
I guess loneliness
can do some good when we are accepting it...just the way it is.
May be that way we
can appreciate our company better in the future.
If you have a word or experience the same or anything in your clinical term...feel free to share, in comments, in twitter, emai, or FB...
I would really love to hear others' stories.
XoXo
Gladys Olivia
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