My Half Papachunk

Hi people.

It's Tuesday and tomorrow I have my second meeting of tutorial.
That means I gotta finish my LO now, but I really feel like writing right now.

These past 3 days, since I had my interview, has been so mind-distracting for me (I'm not sure it's the right word, but whatever, it's my blog boo) :p

Since it's the "changing season" in all UKM (student activity centre) in FK Unand, so there are new faces and some faces that didn't get the place/position they wanted, or hoped for.

I just wanna say,

It's the most human thing to be dissaponted.
If somehow I didn't get what I had hoped and worked for and I just didn't feel any dissapointed nor sad, that means I am one hypocrite.

So, for whatever it is, I'd like to be absorbed in sadness than fake and let it hide somewhere until in just BLOW OUT sometime.

And I learnt something from my nutrition lecturer. 

dr.Delmi : " Let see, all of you must be the 10 to 15 ranked in your old school.. If you were the first in general rank, you wouldn't be in here, you would be in UI or ITB."

That was, seen from on part, rude.
But, that was also the truth.

But, I know for sure now, after spending one year in dentistry and being called grateless or greedy by people, there best we can do is to be grateful of what we have now.
But changing your plan, redesigning, and hoping for the future you wanna have are never greedy.

I've had times when I just called Mom and told her how I wished I weren't studying medicine and how I envy other people who study things that don't involved human,life,thick textbooks.
But here's what my Mom says:

"Why are you being so ungrateful?!
Didn't you remember the time you were in dentistry and thought 'how cool and huge it is to be a medical student?' And now God had given you the chance to get in with the fact that you didn't prepare that much and many people out there dying to be in your position!
Open up your eyes Dys.
Don't be enchanted too easily by what you see on the outside.
You think people who don't study medicine just live without problems.
They have their own, and so do you."

So yeah, what I really learnt is that I am human.
I can be blinded by what I see.
I can feel happyness,joy,pain, and despair. 
And to fake that I don't feel that way, is such misery.

And to be brave to show how I truely am is such a privilege I shouldn't let go.
My lecturer and Mom showed me that.

So, let me be the bitchy, the hyperactive, the noisy, the dreamy, the dirty-mouth, the loving, the careless, the messy, the feminine, the ambitious, the nervous, the hard-working, the moody lady that I am.

DEMONS

Everybody loves a clown, a comedian, one who makes fool of himself and makes others laugh.

But do peple really know that a clown, a comedian, they are the deeply hurt ones?

Hello bloggies.

It’s been too long since last time I post.

And it seems like everytime I post something it’s just around my college now.
hahahaha…so pathetic, I know.

But what else to say, I’ve pledged my life in studying human, the never ending mystery human.

These past three weeks I’m consumed by DANUS MFAF. 

Being part of DANUS, you gotta sell everything that brings money for your event. 

So you gotta have the “selling-mouth”.

And it also has been since these last 3 weeks, I gotta go home (or precisely go back to my always-missed room, here in Padang) feeling empty.
Tired. But I know I got things to do.
Wanting to call my family, but somehow I feel like I just need them here now, not by the phone.

So yeah.

Let me be this dramatic now.

Being apart from your home sucks.
Being in a place so different from yours sucks.
Not being around your loved family and friends sucks.

But, since it’s my life now, all I have now is just to lay all these in to His hands.

Dear you,
I feel so tired and empty.
At the same time I know you’re feeling exhausted.
I hate that I’m like water on a leaf.
I hate that I miss my friends and my family so much.
I hate that I need someone to hug so badly without feeling scared of what people may think.
I hate that  sometimes I think a break could make things better.
I hate that I can’t make myself see all the past things and just trust you.
Of all these things, I hate that it’s all true.

Lost Stars

  And God,tell us the meaning

  Youth is wasted on the young its hunting season

  And this lamb is on the hunt searching for meaning

   But all we are lost stars trying to light..light up the dark

- Adam Lavine, Lost Stars

Hi bloggies!

How you all doing? :)

Hope all of you are well. 

So, I just moved to Padang,Sumatera Barat, to study Medicine.

It's still part of Indonesia though, in case you don't know where Padang is. :p

I retook the SBMPTN and, with all praises and thanks to God, made it to my first option, Medical School of Andalas University.

I've been here since August 4, so it's been a week now. Mom accompanied me until last Trustday.

One of the reasons why I never posted anything for the last couple months was this, me retaking the SBMPTN. Truth is, since the second semester in Dentistry, I've registered to a Bimbingan Belajar, but  because of the schedules with my classses in Dentistry, I didn't come often. Or precisely, I came like once or may be twice in a week, and at some times in a month.

People at Bimbel always gasped at the fact at I would retake the exam.

Most thought I was doing an ungrateful and silly deed for not just staying in Dentistry.

There were much more comments than supports.

So, I thought it would be best for me not telling any one about the plan.

Just keep it to myself, my family, and close friends.

                                                                      ***

Now, here I am typing in my rent-room in Jati,Padan.

The day Mom left me to go back to Medan, it was my Ospek day.

So, when I arrived , my room was empty and dark.

It's sad how you thought you'd be just fine by yourself, and suddenly it just wasn't ok.

And, if my family calls me, it always fells like crying.

Crying to the fact that my family is only a four-membered-family, and now I'm away and alone.

Crying to the fact that I miss my Seksay Cia, my most-of-the-time-I-cant-make-sense-of  Mom, and my not-spending-much-time-talking-with Dad. 

And there are these three girls I also miss.

My friends, my sisters, Uci,There,Mumus.

I remembered the time we said what made us so close was that "We all seek for attention. And we all care for one another."

So, no one was put aside.

And, there's Dea, my bestfriend, who is now in Bali, for studying Food Engeenering.

Such a long step she took, and a brave one also.

And, my sister, Kak Abeth, to whom I'm still sorry for didn't make it to meet up on my last day in Medan.

I also miss you sister. 

Sorry for that time.

                                                                    ***

Padang is not a big city nor metropolitan. And it's much smaller compared to Medan.

But, I'm here not for the city. I'm here to study, to go back to Medan with "MD" titled at the and of my name.

What I know for sure now is that no matter if  the ones you expect to support your plan say NO. Or even if a total stranger tells you NO. But if you know for sure what and why you want it, just do it.

At least if we make mistake,it's our own. 

It's better to fail, than to give up before the battle even starts.

It's better to hope and believe all the things in God than letting people's thoughts to corrupt your guts.

And this what my physiology doctor said when we were studying about Nervous System back in Dentistry : 

" If you are to make a choice between a FIGHT-OR-FLIGHT condition, and if it's still possible, ALWAYS choose to FIGHT. Don't run away but FIGHT!"

This is Sera. She's from Papua and studying Medicine too. We share the same house now but different room. :)

            

Heheh..every one has SOME WISH TO-WORK-FOR LIST right? :p

To Make My Own

Hei bloggies!
Sorry, I've been on a dormancy for like half a year.. :/

It's already june.
So many things I can't explain in my posts happened.
But, they don't really matter.
I figure they just were there to help me understand what I want, who I am, and how I want to reach them.

I'm about to take big turns.
To finally answer people with " BECAUSE I WANT IT."
To finally start doing what I love.
To finally be the man of my life.

People will surely judge,comment,or just simply not give a care.
They always do.

But for those people I love and concern about,

Let me do what I want.
You may think I make silly decissions.
But, I don't wanna regret not taking the chances just because people's opinions.
If it turns out to be hardship, just be there for me.

I want this.
And whatever comes after making this decission, I know I'm never alone.
There's nothing to fear of.

100 Songs

Hello fellas! :D
It'sMarch already!
How time flies!! :p

So, uhh today I got to spent my afternoon with my girlfriend/sister/bestfriend/soulmate, Almadea. ;)
These past 2 weeks have been chhheeraaaazzzyy,super busy weeks for all  Faculty of Dentistry students.
So, meeting with Dea today was like having a glass of pure water after a long run. :)


Me : "Jadi, kita udah mau tujuh tahunan lah ya De?"
Dea : "Iya juga ya..dari SMP.udah 6 setengah tahun lah.."
Me : "Langgeng ya kita. Aku udah siap ketemu keluargamu kok De!" ;)
         *genggam tangan Dea*

:D

Me : " Jadi ntar ada cake nya lah ya?"
Dea : " Ada lah kalau cake, tapi gak pake lilin kayak kau."
Me : " Hah?Kok gak pake lilin?"
Dea : " Emang semua orang suka niup lilin banyak-banyak kayak kau Dys?!" :p


#At our class
Uci : "Dys, tolong dulu ngomongnya jangan naik satu oktaf!!"
Tere : " Apa pulak satu oktaf, dua oktaf itu!"
Aku : " Emang aku kalau ngomong kek gitu ya wak?"
Tere : "Iya loh!! Sampek kalau kau sms, rasanya sms mu itu bersuara kayak kau!" 
          *niruin isi sms aku pake suara cempreng*
          "BRAII!!!! TERRRRR!! WAKK!!!"
Uci : "Iya udah kayak pesan multimedia tiap nerima sms kau Dys!Bersuara gitu!" 

                                                               ***

I think what I just learnt is that I just have to let it be. 

Last month, I spent too much time thinking and worrying about one thing, which actually is not that big deal.

And, at the end of the day, a good perspective is always necessary.

 :)

Flowers and Candles

Hi bloggies! :)

I'm currently having semester break. But next Monday I'll be back on track. :p

I really hope you all are having great time, and also it's February, month of love.

Enjoy yourself and have a wonderful Valentine's day with your family, boyfriend/girlfriend, bestfriends, your loved ones. :-)

Dear you, can I get new ones? Roses maybe? ;)

A two-way thing

Happy New Year my blog. :)

I hope this year will be a better, more prosperous year for all of us. :D

So, I know it's not exactly what I usually talk about in blog, but I feel like writing about it.

But,there's something I just realised because of this one movie, Don Jon.

Love is a two-way thing.
It can not and should not be one-sided.

Truth be told, most girls (may be included me) dream of a happily-ever-after-movie love story.

But the truth, there ain't no such thing as perfection, neither the individuals nor the process.

So, I guess it's best to understand that the person you are in a relationship with, is someone who definitely has differences from you.

And if you're willing to know him/her better, than try to understand and accept him/her the way he/she is.

And uh..about the movie,Don Jon, I'm not saying it's perfection.But I'm saying, may be you could watch it, and take some messages from it. And it's better for you to watch it if you're already 18 or above. :) 

Good night blog. 

Mr. Joseph Gordon-Levvit, actor-writer-director of don Jon.